America's fast food supergiant McDonald's is not under human management. While the workers the general public actually sees are human (or very small cows in clever disguises), the 'people' at the top of the company making the decisions are cows. Whether McDonald's has always been run by cows or whether the cows took over later remains to be seen. The cows may have been angry that people were eating beef in such enormous amounts (and, in turn, becoming enormous), and decided to take over the company to change this.

There is speculation about what Big Macs are actually made of if McDonald's is run by cows. (Of course, there were questions about that when we thought people were running it.) Surely cows serving beef would be considered semi-cannibalistic. The prevailing theory is that if we thought McDonald's was run by humans and served cows, but it is run by cows, then it must serve humans. Whether or not we have been eating fellow members of our species remains to be seen. Until then, Burger King's sales have doubles since this disturbing information was unearthed last week.

A spokesperson for McDonald's, Mr. Beau Vine, stated, "This misconception that our corporation is run by cows is just that – a misconception. There is absolutely no truth to it, and clearly those who believe this need a serious reality check. How could cows make the decisions necessary to run a successful business such as McDonald's?"

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