Ah yes, I am truly a genius of the greatest caliber! The fiend shall never find my secret hoard of treasure. I have hidden them in the most distant, secret, diabolical, and secret place ever conceived. No mortal shall ever be able to find my precious treasure.

Now, I must journey to the Dark Chamber and attempt to trick the fiend into releasing more of its hidden secrets, so that I may expand my hoard. He may deny that they are there, he may resist, but I know they are there and eventually he shall fall to my awesome might!

Ah, I have reached the Dark Chamber. The fiend sits by his alter, a square panel of glowing light, before which he sits and manipulates an array of mystic runes to worship his undoubtedly evil gods. I walk to the archway to his enclave and utter the incantation to summon him. He finishes his worship and stands, a goliath, towering above me, but helpless to my mighty incantation.

"Huh?" It responds in a sharp sudden grunt. What this means, I do not know, the fiend speaks a strange and bizarre language long dead. I proceed with the ceremonial dance, spinning and jumping, occasionally calling out, until I reach the doorway to the Dark Chamber. Somewhere in there is treasure, orbs of unknown greatness, gleaming emerald green and brimming with power.

The fiend walks up to me, each of his massive feet coming down like mountains. It speaks words that I have heard so much that I now have come to understand parts of. This is what I could translate.

"What? No, I'm not getting your ball. You already have five of them."

Curses, his gods no doubt had given him that information. No matter, I simply must be persistent and continue the incantation. I continued my chant. The fiend made a strange movement with its body, shaking a massive protrusion above its upper leg joints, uttering some magical spell. I lowered my head, suddenly fearful of incoming curses. When none came, I continued. The fiend waved its upper legs in frustration and went into the Dark Chamber. It returned with two orbs of brilliance, then launched them, with little care for the precious artifacts, through the air down the Hall of Doom. I pushed hard and darted towards the orbs. I leapt and caught one in the air, but I was unable to catch the second. It rolled to a stop, thankfully not damaged. I hid the first with the others, then went back out to get the second. The fiend was approaching fast. I had little time to spare!

I dashed into my enclave and hid my precious new orb as the fiend entered. It occasionally came to feed in the area around me. I was fortunate to often steal the remnants of his massive feasts, much of which he never even touches. He looked down at me as he opened the Icy Closet of Wonders. I was suddenly alert as he reached in. Perhaps that wondrous substance "Cheese" may come forth. Sadly, it did not. He withdrew some sort of nourishment and began eating, then looked down at me again.

"Nice stash you got going on there." It commented as it ate. Good Gravy, it had discovered my hoard. I growled and shook the sheath that hid my hoard, tossing it away in frustration, then resting on it, panting in rage. The fiend laughed and walked away.

"Stupid dog." It chuckled as it walked back to its insidious lair. And thus I began planning for another day. Another hiding spot. Under the fiends throne "SOFA", yes, indeed, his arms may be long, but even they cannot reach into the depths of the "Under-SOFA". Ooh, yes, I truly am a genius!