A Little Bit More Please

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Gloria sadly scooped up Cebbie into her milk chocolate arms. He squirmed quivering his lower lip. He looked deep into her dark brown eyes he kissed her on her cheek. He placed sloppy kisses all over Gloria face and neck.

"No Cebbie, we have to." Even Ceb sense that the evil man in a white suit was about to violate him.

"It's for own good. You know I love you right?"

Cebbie looked down panting, he knew it was true. He smiled back at Gloria. He gave her another kiss and abided.

She was such a softie "Ok maybe we can go to tomorrow." She placed him down on the tile floor and he happily wagged of to massacre another one of her shoes. He slowly turned flashing his million-dollar smile. In appreciation for her good deed, he would pee in one shoe instead of five when Gloria was too deep into to slumber to walk him out.

Gloria was exhausted and trotted to her couch half-asleep. She placed herself on the cushion and glanced at her purple wristwatch. It was only 4:00; she had to call Doctor Samuel Ways' office to cancel their 4:35 appointment. Gloria was too tired and felt her heavy eyes give way.

She yawned stretching her limbs in complete disorder. She slowly got up and stuffed her hand into her pocket. She was looking for some orange-flavored gum. She hated sleepy breath. With finals, Cebbie, and her parents she hardly had time for sleep. Or her friend Penny. She stretched more and chewed vigorously on the gum. She also had no time to eat.

At least that is what she tells herself. She refused to eat was more like it. Her friend Penny was a recovering anorexic from the clinic Gloria went to.

She remembered that day vividly. It was about three years ago. She was 105 pounds and 5'4. There were other girls who were 91 pounds and her taller than her.

She meant Penny a sweet Latin girl from Columbia.

"How'd you get here?" Pen asked.

"I fainted on my way to work. I got in an accident." Gloria was not comfortable speaking about it. However, this stranger seemed harmless. Yet there was a connection between the two of them. Though they hardly spoke, they seemed to understand what the problem was between them.

Gloria got up still stretching her stomach hurting. It felt as if someone kicked her in the gut. She ignored it though and went to her room. She slipped off her clothing and looked at her self in the full-length mirror.

It was not as if she hated herself she just was not satisfied. She placed her hands on bare hips. With her thin fingers feeling the bone in her hips, she rubbed her stomach.

She did love her flat tummy. She spent 15 minutes everyday doing crunches. She turned sideways looking at her butt.

"You're black; you're butt is not going away." Penny said one day, envious hers was gone.

She smiled at the comment. The lounges did the trick.

She cupped her breasts, a small C but good. She looked further to her legs long and shapely, in a good way.

Even after she convinced herself, she had a banging body she was not satisfied. She ate 300 calories or less every day for the past week. Even Ceb knew what was going on. One day after Gloria ran on her treadmill for 2 hours after eating cake he ran over to her and placed some biscuits in her hand. He never shared dog biscuits. He looked at her pleadingly; the last thing he wanted was his best friend to die of indigestion.

Her stomach was grumbling loud. It even woke Ceb up from his deep sleep.

Gloria slipped on some new gym gear. She had her Baby Phat tracksuit along with matching shoes.

She jogged off feeling warm air hit her face. She smiled at her neighbor Mr. Glenn and Michael Kope. He always flirted with her.

She jogged for 15 minutes and felt cramps in her sides. They were quite painfully. They were not hunger pains but maybe….

"Oh shit!" Gloria said aloud. She was near a stop sign and a few people waiting to cross the street eyed her. She ran off to her apartment feeling a familiar discomfort she had not felt for six months.

"Hey sexy!" Michael yelled as she jumped the fence to her complex. She ran up stairs feeling wetness between her legs.

Maybe she was over-reacting but she did not want this. She was on the second flour and went to apartment 2C, quickly she opened the door to her bathroom and pulled down her pants.

"Shit!" She placed her hands over her face in frustration.

How could this happen?

Cebbie repeatedly knocked on the door whimpering for Gloria, he could feel her distress.

Slowly she cried to herself. Most women get their period every month but Gloria ruined her menstrual cycle.

She wiped tears from her eyes and took off her sneakers. She pulled off her pants in shot it into the hamper. At least the blood didn't go through.

She hopped into the shower and let the water hit her face. She was in a lot of pain as if a jackhammer was going into her stomach, back, neck and head.

She felt like throwing up also she felt like a million pounds. She suddenly felt bloated. She covered her mouth feeling something come up her throat. It could not be food because she hardly ate anything. She did not want to throw up in her shower.

Slowly she breathed in an out trying to calm herself down. She doubled over in pain and slowly counted to ten. She sat down in the shower. This usually calmed her down. Instead of sitting there for 15 minutes, she was there for three hours. Her skin was prune like. Her eyes were closed the whole time she thought about her justifications, why she would let her stomach eat her alive.

Her parents didn't understand it, neither did her twin or the rest of her siblings. The only thing the could think of was the crazy rock music she liked listening to.

Her stomach was rumbling which became a problem in her classes. She never really got hungry in the morning so after Mr. Steven class she would eat half a candy bar, just to hold her over for another two hour. It worked for six whole months until her body really wanted her to eat. It alarmed her by grumbling so loud everyone turned not to her but to Ginny. Ginny was large and round. She was cute like a pig. Everyone suspected her. The meanest girl in the class told her to eat an ice-cream truck. It was not really funny or clever but everyone laughed because Ayleen said it. Even Mr.Steven was laughing. From that point on half of the class would wave candy bars in front of her face.

"Eat something pig." Paul said.

Of course, Gloria felt sorry for Ginny but she did not want anyone to know about her problem. She felt guilty about it everyday but what was she to do?

Gloria still sat in the water now filled with blood, tears, and little bit her self-esteem. She felt like shit. She stopped crying it seemed useless to. She got up and spent another hour washing herself off.

She turned off the faucet and kneeled over in pain again. She whimpered and pried open the shower curtains. She pulled her duck towel off the rack and opened her bathroom door.

Cebbie laid there patiently waiting for her.

She could not even look at her own dog. When she got to her room, she slipped on some panties and a tampon. She wiggled into her nightgown. She sat on the bed and called the rehab, the connected her with Penny.

She waited a few seconds and she heard the other line " Hey Glo."

Gloria swallowed hard choking on her words. "I had my period today."

"Oh Gloria," Penny sighed. "I wish I could be there I'm still at the rehab."

Gloria was crying again and Penny calmed her over the phone.

"Gloria, you and I both know you need help, come back to the clinic and do the full six weeks. Don't stay for four day then ditch."

Gloria sniffled and wiped her nose which the back of her hand. "I feel embarrassed; you're much stronger than me."

" I have to go we're having group therapy. Call me back tomorrow okay sweetheart?"

She nodded over the phone even though that didn't make sense.

Penny giggled Gloria always did that. "Remember Jesus loves you."

" Kay."

Gloria hung up and walked to her bathroom she opened her drub cabinet and took out a bottle of Midol. She shook it noticing it was empty. She never actually had to use it.

She slowly crawled to her room on all fours walking into her closet. She saw her jeans on the floor she slipped them on while still whimpering.

After getting dressed, Gloria slowly got up holding on to her dresser. She forgot how much these things hurt.

She breathed in and out. After ten minutes, she finally got up and ignored the pain. She started walking out her complex building to the bus stop.

She saw her neighbor Michael Kope "What happened Gloria!" he yelled from across the street.

"My stove was on I forgot!" She quickly ran off in pain again.