My name is Annie. Well, technically 'Anne' but with my surname being Arky, I much prefer to go by Annie.

Yeah, my legal name is Anne Arky. Anarchy.

The funny thing is that right now, you think I'm kidding.

I should be so lucky.

However, the name fits, considering my parental heritage and the fact I'm cursed. Not figuratively cursed, literally cursed. I realize you probably don't believe in curses, so I'll take the time to enlighten you on the finer points of attracting a God's wrath.

Step one: it helps if your father is Loki, Norse God Of Mischief. Again I'm sure you get the impression that I'm yanking your chain. Well I'm not.

I'm sure you've heard about how Zeus supposedly had dalliances with mortal women, right? They taught you that in High School when you had to slog through the Greek myths and legends; barring that, you've probably seen at least one movie or television show that makes comment on the exploits of Zeus' illegitimate demigod Hercules. Hercules was the result of a 'dalliance' with a mortal woman and due to his divine birthright, he was blessed with incredible strength and so on and so on…

Well, Zeus isn't the only Godly being who digs mortals; Loki's got it bad for 'em too. Redheads especially.

But, I digress.

The result of one of dear old Loki's "encounters" was--raise your hand if you didn't see this coming--yours truly. Now, regardless of my origins, my life story wouldn't be worth the telling if it weren't for what happened after I was born.

Odin, father of the Gods, Grandpa-Mess-With-Me-And-I'll-Fry-Your-Ass, was less than pleased that Loki's…uh…'intimacy' with my mother wound up producing offspring. (The policy seems to be 'Do whatever you want, just don't increase the population of those who could conceivably assist in overthrowing me').

So, to punish Loki, Odin cursed me with the "Powers Of Chaos". That's Godly logic at work for you. Loki did the crime, I got the punishment.

As a result of the curse, trouble follows me--no, dogs me--wherever I go. If I blink the wrong way, a toaster blows up (I have seen it happen, don't try telling me it can't.). Twitch my nose in the wrong direction or sneeze on the wrong day of the week and a natural disaster is likely to occur.

It's most definitely an…interesting power to have. A major pain in the ass, but I can't honestly sit here and declare that it's not interesting.

The only problem is, I'm not the only one who thinks so. To hold power over Absolute Chaos--potentially unlimited destructive power--draws power hungry whack jobs, sorcerers and war lords (yes, there are warlords in the twenty-first century, don't look so surprised. Not every secret society and warmonger gets on the evening news, you know. Some of them prefer subtlety and dark arts over flashy displays of military muscle and domination) to me like flies to honey.

They don't seem to understand that the reason my Powers Over Absolute Chaos are classified as a vengeful curse and not as a celestial gift is because I can't control them. They give the impression that they believe I can just snap my fingers and make things go boom at will. I should mention that I haven't snapped my fingers since I was five… because the last time I did, it caused a minor earthquake.

In Tokyo.

So yes, I can cause catastrophic things to happen, but I have absolutely no way of directing where the catastrophe occurs, when it occurs or what sort of disaster occurs.

The latest calamity that I'm to blame for was a rather large…a rather large um…monsoon, actually.

Ordinarily, I could brush this off and add whatever I was doing at the time of the deluge to the 'List Of Things I'm No Longer Allowed To Do For Reasons Of Preserving The Safety Of The Planet' (brushing my teeth with an electric toothbrush is what set this one off, in case you were wondering), this time was different than all the other times.

This wasn't a minor earthquake, an exploding appliance or a basement flood. This resulted in human casualties. I've lived with this curse for the past twenty some odd years and it's never caused deaths before. Consequently, I've decided to try and find a way to rid myself of this power, no matter what it takes.

I've been doing some research, and if Gramps is anything like Zeus (though Zeus is fictional as far as I know) I should be able to strike some kind of bargain with him.

I hope.

Provided, of course, that I can find him.

Since fortune favors the bold, and going on this insane caper definitely falls into the realm of 'bold', I have pretty high hopes that I'll have a little good luck on my side, despite my curse-given handicap in the fate department.

Well, now that you know the basics; the whos, whys and wherefores that you'll encounter along the way as I chronicle my quest, I guess I should stop writing this little introduction and actually start said quest so that I can tell you how it went. I dunno when I'll be back, but you can bet I'll have some pretty nifty stories to relate when I do return from wherever it is that I'm going.

That is if I return.

I'd say wish me luck, but I don't want to jinx myself any further, thanks.

My name is Anne Arky: young, inexperienced woman, impromptu demigoddess of chaos, and this is my story.