Not Moving

I can't find anything
It's really frustrating
I've searched for a long time
Poorly, because I'm suffocating

All those times before
Now I know they were empty
A feeling gone, I'm feeling numb
I'll probably fall at age twenty

There's nothing left for me
My world is gone
A childlike fantasy
Just asleep for so long

Reality hits me
There is no Santa Claus
The tooth fairy is fake
And I have no real cause

When everyone lies
You tend to believe it
So what do I do now?
I can't just leave it

Revenge, Payback,
Many evil ways
But I was also taught
Bad men always pay

Instead I give up
No more trying to unearth it
I'll just lye here for a while
Because trying isn't worth it