Title: Kiss The Gunner

Summary: My life has been destroyed because of my unrelinquishable love. The thing is is that I don't care.

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Romance, Drama, One-Shot

Warning: Contains Shoujo-Ai

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Oh, God. If these feelings inside my heart are so wrong and sinful then why do I have them? Why would you bestow these feelings unto me if you truely beleive they are wrong? If this is a test then you are a cruel teacher to give me such a quiz.

It was hard to beleive how many thoughts can run through your head when you lay in bed at night, looking up into the darkness, unable to distinguish anything through the cloud of blackness that separates you from existance.

What had I become? Was I so hideous that my parents, the two people who had cared for me above all through out my life, cannot even stand to have me around. Was I so sinful that I was to be tossed into an ever-agonzing pot of burning flames for eternity just for a feeling I couldn't help but fall prey to?

Was love so wrong?

I turn my head to the right to look at the serene face of my sleeping beauty. The soft breathes coming from the lungs belonging to my one and only filled my ears, causing the corners of my lips to perk up.

My parents refused to return my calls. I'd been blocked out of their lives ever since I told them of the love I harbored deep down in my heart. They'd been apalled, looking at me as if I was some horrible creature stumbling into their living room and threatening their faith. As if I was some satanic beast, only there to disturb a perfect family history of pure, holy conservatives and pearl-white pasts.

They used to love me.

So many people had turned their backs on me. My entire family refused to recognize me as one of their own. The church I'd gone to since I was born turned their backs on me, treating me like some disease that could be caught if I was too close. Friends even turned away from me, not wanting my presence to hurt their beautiful image.

A light spur caused me to turn my head to look at the thing that had driven me to destroy my life. That beautiful mess of blonde hair covered a face that I'd fallen head over heels for. My love let out a soft sigh before drifting back into unconcious sleep.

If this feeling I felt was so horrible, so disgusting then why did God create it? He created all things so why would he create something that he despises so much? Is it our punishment for Adam's mistake? Why must we go through an eternity of sorrow just for one man's mistake?

I felt a hand caress my side and turned my head only to be greeted by a pair of sparkling green pupils.

"You still awake?" Spoke the delicate, quiet voice of my companion.

"Yeah." I said back, smiling even though nothing could be seen through the darkness. "Just thinking."

"Try to get some rest."

Was this worth it? Was this person I slept next to really worth the lifetime of pain, the cold stares of strangers, and the complete disregard of my 'loved' ones?

"Ai?" Whispered the voice again and I looked once more into those brilliant, breath-taking green eyes. Those were the eyes that had first struck me with this akward, unwanted feeling. Those were the eyes I wanted looking at me every day and every night until the day I breath my last breath.

"Yes, Maya?"

"I love you." Was what my beautiful love said before planting a goodnight kiss on my lips. I loved the feeling of those lips brushing against mine. It was the thing that had first led me into my downward spiral towards sin. It was as if I was kissing the barrel of a gun, armed and ready to blow me to pieces and end my silly existance once and for all.

Maya laid back and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep once again.

Was it all worth it? Was it worth the loss of my friends, family, and my faith?

It was a hard decision.

The soft breathing of my companion filled my ears again and I smiled once again.

Fuck God, I choose love.

-fin-