Summary: Shannon's a super slick spy lady, who goes by the name of agent Wonder Women. Kam's her Poet Boy, whose writing helped saved the world. It's a regular match made in heaven. (SKoW One-shot entry for Best Challenge Response #5 -Kicking Ass and Taking Names.)
AN: Ah, I was trying to make this parody-er and funnier but I have a built in defense mechanism against clichés. Oh wells, it's still silly though, so enjoy.
The Chronicles of Wonder Woman and Poet Boy
(word count 1, 822)
This is not a regular love story. Yes, the moon might be shining on the couple right now as they lay in bed after a really hot L-scene, but there's nothing too romantic about it. Aside from the fact that Kam has been reading poems to his repeat one night stand partner for the past twenty minutes.
"Shut up please?" Shannon asked him.
Her legs were still intertwined in his; his were so much paler from staying inside and writing poems and hers were a dark brown naturally, but were tanned to a golden brown during a vacation taken after her last mission. She was burnt out from saving the world, just wanting to relax and have Kam kiss her instead of talk.
"But love, this line is the best," he told her, reaching an arm over to bring her closer to his side, "The moon reflects over the garden of your soul, you move me, my woman to seek comfort in your side. Your eyes hold in the wonders of all worlds…"
Ah, someone out there please need my help, she thought. This is too much for me to handle.
She lasted for a few more lines of his poetry, things about a 'ticking a quarter past nine and love baskets.' She ran her hand over the side of his face where his five o' clock shadow was a permanent fixture, then along his jaw. Even though she was a super spy agent lady a la James Bond, she couldn't help but return to the comfortable bed of her poet.
There was a slight ringing coming from her side of the bed. Her black bag was opened and her communicator was going crazy. She jumped out of bed and landed on her hip. Swearing bitterly, she answered the phone.
"Hello agent, Wonder Woman, I have your mission, should you choose to accept it," her boss, Bruce, called her with that stupid nickname and phrase no matter how much she told him to knock it off.
Well, she retaliated by calling him Batman but that was another story.
"Yeah, Batman, I'm all ears," she stated, picking up her clothes as she traveled into the washroom and closed the door.
"You are to head down to the downtown metro plaza center where Brian 'Sticky Thumbs' McGee is planning to make an attack," he explained quickly. "At least that is what our sources say."
Shannon rolled her eyes. These moments are why she needed that vacation in the first place. There was no 'sources say,' with her. She needed everything to be cemented. Without it people were liable to get hurt.
She changed into the black dress that she came in and pulled her flat ironed hair into a shoulder length ponytail. This was her battle hairstyle. She went out of the bathroom after a quick once over and had found that Kam was out of the bed and dressed.
"You have to go now?" he asked with little boy sadness in his gray eyes.
She went over to him and kissed him softly on his too-pink lips.
"I'll be back my love," she told him, wincing afterwards since she sounded like one of his poems.
He brought up her hand to cup his cheek then kissed it. She went around him for her bag once he let go of her, then waved at him from the door.
"'Shall we part again my love? How sweet grows longing for a together filled morrow'," he recited as she closed the door.
She power walked to her car, silver Mercedes, and opened the door with her Powerpuff Girl chain. She liked to think that it gave her car strength to start.
"Batman," she said, once she turned on the built in communicator in her car. "Send me the coordinates."
She could hear humming on the other line and typing that wasn't fast enough.
"Is everyone trying to drive me crazy?" she asked in a huff.
She preferred staying in bed to be tortured by her Poet Boy's masterpieces, to her boss having one of these moments. Bits and pieces of Kam's writing flitted to her mind while her communicator uploaded the coordinates.
'A blue bell rings twice and nothing more, my heart floats over to the left exit door.'
At least he was cute, she thought to herself. Other than that, he was unemployed, which gave her plenty of come and go time between her jobs to come to him.
She arrived at the downtown metro plaza center with minutes to spare on extra makeup and changing. She turned into a working mom with messy hair and bags under her eyes that looked like she was there to do some late night shopping. She traveled to the entrance where she blended in the crowd well enough to be asked for directions from an elderly couple.
She traveled up the elevator stairs with Batman giving her instructions through her earring communicator. She was to go the security section of the mall then up to the roof where she would have the battle to end of battles.
Or at least that was the plan.
"Wonder Woman, there's been a slight change," Bruce said through her earrings.
She was up on the roof and the wind was cutting through her top like a little kid beating up a piñata—there was no room was changes now.
"What do you mean, Batman? What change?" she asked in slight anger.
"The one where good doesn't win over evil after all," Sticky Fingers, said as he came into her attention.
He was wearing baggy pants, no shirt on his trucker stomach, and dragon tattoos over his body. She wanted to puke at the sight of him but kept herself in check.
"Good always wins, weirdo," she stated. "Now let's get ready to rumble!"
She jumped at him with a roundhouse kick but met with the air. Either he was moving quicker than she was or she had slowed down, both of which was too impossible to think about.
She tried again but he caught her ankle in his hand and threw her back towards the edge of the building. She hung precariously over it before she backed up.
"Sticky Fingers being here is part of the game plan. His new tricks aren't," she said to Batman.
"That isn't even the least of your troubles," Batman answered her. "He's got a bomb!"
"A bomb?!" she cried out in shock/fear.
"A bomb," Sticky Fingers, repeated for the third time—Shakespearean-like. "I have waited my whole life to take the person who sent me to that cruel jail to hell with me."
He walked closer to her then ripped off his pants. Shannon shielded her eyes to the horrible sight before she heard the ticking. In front of his boxers was a pack of explosives held up by a jock string.
"How cruel was that jail again?" she tried as Sticky Fingers approached her. "Like 45 days in jail for Paris cruel or Justin Timberlake crying on Punk'd because his dogs are gone, cruel?"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" both Batman and Sticky Fingers told her.
"More than three quarters and counting for the people that we have evacuated from the building," Batman said in her earring. "Keep him talking for as long as you can but when he tries to press the button, you have only three minutes to get out of there yourself."
Shannon started to think because in that moment, it was the only thing that she could do. She was stuck on a roof with a madman and her honey-bunny was at home, not knowing that this could be his last night with her. Even with those dread filled thoughts on her mind she still tried her best.
"So how is the family?" she asked lightly.
That question opened up a whole can of worms about his children, three that she mock suspected that he birthed himself by looking at his pregnant like belly. He talked about his ex-wife, who had divorced him after she had found out about his whole 'I want to conquer the world' business. Then Batman had told her that the people were safe and she had started to look for exit strategies.
"Have you been listening to a word I've been saying?" Sticky Fingers asked her suddenly.
She looked back at him from her search, racking her brain for something, anything, that he said—and unfortunately found nothing.
"Something about global warming?" she tried half-heartedly.
He let out an evil laugh.
"That was twenty minutes ago, agent. You must practice your listening skills in hell," he stated dryly, he began to search for the detonation device and the three minutes countdown started up in her head.
Shannon ran down the stairs but then came to an escapee's most hated enemy—a dead end.
"Crap, crap, crap," she started to chant.
There was only one and a half minutes to go and she couldn't go back up. There was nothing at all to do. She might as well to be telling Batman to tell Kam that she believes in his poems and loves him.
But then she heard the ringing, coming over from the left side of the wall.
'A blue bell rings twice and nothing more, my heart floats over to the left exit door.'
"Batman is there a hidden exit recorded in the blueprints for this mall?" she asked as she felt along the walls.
"No," he said back, "Only a painted over door so get out of there!"
She slammed her body against the wall then found herself in flinging out of the door and towards the street as she fell out of the building.
"Hey! Get off of my truck lady!" an annoying voice called out.
Shannon couldn't believe that she was still alive but not yet out of danger. She got down off the ice cream truck and showed her badge before she hustled her way into the driver's seat. The man looked over at her and swore when the explosion sounded, then made a prayer to what seemed like every god.
"Mission complete, Batman," she said as left the ice cream truck and entered her car that was parked in a packed neighborhood close enough to the mall but away from the danger of it.
She started to go back home then U-turned in the direction of Kam's place. The second he opened the door she jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around him.
"Did I tell you how much I love your poetry?" she asked between Eskimo kisses.
He let out a bark of a laugh.
"Not as of late, but its fine if you want to change that," he stated, closing the door.
The couple goes onto their daily business and the world sleeps awaiting more saving from Wonder Woman and her indirect helper, Poet Boy.
I like how it turned out and almost want to make more but it's only a one shot and I have some studying to do. But if you really like it then drop an 'add oil' in a review. Lurkers can leave a little note too.
-love like chucks.
Challenge #5 - Kicking Ass and Taking Names
1) Female action hero.
2) Love interest is a poet who has never worked in a real job -- ever.
3) During one of their one-night stands, Love Interest recites a poem to Female Action Hero. Female Action Hero eventually uses this knowledge in one of her missions.
4) Gratuitous cliche phrases, such as: "I'll save you, my love!", "Don't come any closer -- it's a bomb!", etc.'
5) Comedy. This is meant to be a parody-type challenge.
1) portrayal of the events during said one-night stand. If story is rated M, it cannot be for sexual reasons (innuendos are allowed).
2) lasting moments of grief.
3) fantasy-based things. Like, the Female Action Hero can't recite the poem to unlock the gate to a magical world, or whatever. Strictly realistic (or, as realistic as parodies can be).