under these wide branches
summer sun falls
shows the grass a pattern
striking similar
to the puzzle under my skin

without you to fill me
I am patchwork remnants
foreign and familiar
scraps of memory and sensation
even where I could spin gold
with my words once
now I feel sand grit
and stick to my tongue
I am spitting dust
to an unconcerned breeze

every day around me
I walk circles to all the places
we used to go
they all smell like you
like memory, like water
like my desperation
like the glory of our love
they are shedding your name
so that it layers in the air
like a heat wave, like waves
like your touch

I am walking
and talking and smiling
with the lance of your absence
spearing my lungs
no wonder I can't breathe
no wonder I think I'm choking

together we were light
fringed round with our shadows
alone I am shadow
the light that rings round me
is only memory