A place for lovesick people. Hell has a room there too! A cliché story for anyone sick or in-love with love. Cuteness? Hell yes, bitch. Random Axel appearances? Why yes, thanks. Are you gay for reading this? HELL YEAH! Shoujo-ai, yaoi, and normal parings.

Lovesick Losers

By: Kir Sirin

Chapter one:
Love Patient no. 1:
Sukia Ano

"Fucking kids." The grocery store manager hissed after Sukia.

Sukia let out a loud howl of-a-laugh and jumped high in the air. His brown hair was spiked, in a little boy way, and his brown eyes were big and full of mischief.

Oh, yeah. Sukia's a guy. Wha'da think?

"Why does he do this every Wednesday?" Asked one of the employees, whose name is never important because he's just a lowly side-character.

Sukia hit a man in the face with his plastic bag.

Lots of answers surfaced. Many being, "Cause he's a fucking troublemaker." Or. "Because he likes to see boss turn beet red." And one even said. "Because he's hungry. Why else would you steal food?"

The truth was, however, that Sukia did this all for a very special girl.

Her name being Kris.

Oh, don't worry, she's a girl. I just like fucking around with the names, is all.


Sukia turned his usual left-right-left-left and then ducked into a bundle of rose bushes.

Who sees rose bushes anymore?

He almost collapsed. His breath came in short, ragged pants, and his circular earphones had fallen off somewhere during his escape.

Sukia shook his head, still panting. He didn't really care for music all that much anyways. He looked up, his shoulders heaving up-and-down, at the blue, and white laced, house before him.

There was one thing he cared about though.

He got up on his shaky-ass legs and brushed off his black jacket that said: Free-wind Sonic #1.

Sonic was his idol. Hence the spiked hair. Oh yeah, the videogame character. We are talking about the same Sonic, right? The little 'ol hedgehog? That's the one! Anyways… Back to Smooth Sukia.

He knocked on the door and puffed his chest out in pride. His cheeks turned pink at the edges and the door opened inward.

"Hiya Kris!" Sukia beamed with pride as he thrust the bag out in front of him. "I bought you your groceries again! I hope you like them! My you look nice today! I hope you--"

"Oh…" Said a voice, who was not the lovely Kris'.

Sukia opened his eyes and all the pride turned into shameful embarrassment. That's the worst kind, kiddies.

Kris wasn't at the door. Her older sister, Crystal (or some other jewel), was. She had blue, short hair, black and blue eyeliner that devoured any, and every, piece of flesh in its way, and a scowl.

An angry scowl.

"Umm…" Our hero, Sukia, said.

"KRIS!" Sukia jumped. Crystal looked over her shoulder and yelled. Her voice cracked, but she just yelled louder. "YOUR FUCKING WANNABE, GAY, BOYFRIEND WANTS YOU! GET YOUR DAMN ASS OUT HERE, NOW!!"

Sukia jumped again when he saw Kris come out, in all her glory, in nothing but her underwear.

Gaaaaaaahhhh…. Sukia's cheeks turned fiery red.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Kris giggled as her sister rolled her eyes. "He just buys my stuff!" Kris turned to look at her 'wannabe boyfriend' and smiled.

Sukia's body trembled, and not in a good way mind you. … Ew

"U-um… I, well, I u-uh…." Sukia shut his eyes tightly. Where had his pride gone? Where had the feeling in his legs gone?!

"My food!" Kris snatched the plastic bag and clutched it to her non-existent chest. She twirled like a little schoolgirl in a new skirt and squealed. "Thanks Sukia!!"

Sukia stared at Kris in her underwear. She had short, red hair, and big, green eyes. She was smaller than Sukia, but hey, that's okay.

I mean shorter. Not smaller, like... Nah, shit, screw you guys.

"I needed this food for my party tonight!" Kris babbled on. "Not that you need to know why I need food. You get it anyway! Did it cost much? Oh well! I'm sure you can find the money somewhere!" Kris stopped smiling and stared at Sukia. "Um…" She frowned in an ugly way. "Are you staring at my chest?"

Sukia blinked.


Sukia became aware of the tingle in his hands and the blush that creped darker, and further, into his cheeks.

"Uh!" Kris scoffed, like the girly-girl she is, and slammed the door in Sukia's face.


It took a while for our little lovesick loser to finally realize that she was gone.

"Ah!" He banged on the door. "Kris! Does this mean I cant come to your party? It's what everyone's been talking about at school! Please?"

No answer.

Sukia's body slumped to the porch, and so did his heart.

In fact…. I think his heart went all the way to the Underworld. Sukia was sure that he could feel Hades ripping it to shreds with a gleeful, little smile on his face.

He had always liked the movie Hercules…

The door opened again and Sukia's head fell to the floor with a violent thud!.

Crystal started to laugh sinisterly. "Take your bag. We don't want your trash." She bent low and hissed in his ear. "You'll never get her, you know. Never."

The click of the door closing, and the plastic bag falling over Sukia's face, made it completely clear that being 10 just got a whole lot harder.

Even the wind didn't bother to play with his funny hair anymore.

What would Sonic do in this situation? He wondered.

And then everything went black.