"So I'll see you in a few months then?"

An attempt at a light-hearted joke fails

Vicious butterflies make me shake all over

Secretly I hope that he will want to stay

"Yeah, probably" is all he manages to say

Words that can kill butterflies so swiftly

Every part of my body feels like it is wilting

I don't dare say anything for fear of tears

He hugs me and then kisses me goodbye

I'm frozen to the spot, can't move at all

All I can do is watch him walk away again

You would think this would get easier, but no

When he is out of sight I finally go inside

Leaning against the door as I shut it

My head connects with the wood, "Why?"

I don't understand how this keeps happening

I am left feeling cheap and dirty

Wondering if I should be getting paid for this

Telling him no sounds simple enough

I've had the conversation in my mind

I never seem to have the guts to do it

To say that I love him with all my heart

But he has to turn around and never look back

I need to forget him if I want to survive

I am getting so frustrated with this pain

The pain that stems from deep down within

I would rather it if he knocked me out

At least that would hurt a lot less

I feel that I am starting to lose myself

I'm floating away and don't know the way back

I didn't want to ask for help getting over him

But I'm begging you, please, help me.