"Hey, you're the one that volunteered." Rachel pointed out with a huge grin. Clearly, I was amusing her.
I glared in response. She didn't need to be right.
I, Jazmine Maryanne Lucy Smith The Second, am the nicest person on the whole flippin' earth. I'm feeling a bit conceited.
You see, it's the niceness that got me into volunteering to help fill in for, who I thought was a kind old man, but really an evil, conniving, and scheming fartbag. Okay, maybe that was a little harsh.
I love Mr. Notts to death.
He is the coolest old janitor dude on the plant, even Rach, my best bud, loves him. Ever since he saved me from that nasty spaghetti that fateful freshman year, the rest has been history. Even I can't comprehend what convinced me to be his fill in janitor. I'm not demeaning the job, I mean, you gotta do whatcha gotta do. But I'm not even getting paid for it. Not only that, I'm sacrificing the last two weeks of my summer. Mom said something about getting out more and doing things for others.
Poppycock. Camping out in your living room, roasting marshmallows over a light bulb, and watching Pirates of the Caribbean is just as good as going out.
Mr. Notts did something really bad to his back and the doctor advised him not to put stress on it. He had to stay home, and the only good that came of it was he got to spend more time with his wife. That's right, Jazzy to the Rescue! I still think I'm too dang nice.
While Rach laughed (more like cackled) her little butt off, because I looked simply ridiculous in the stupid oversized dark gray janitor jumpsuit thing. I swear one day I might just forget Rach is my best friend and attempt to murder her.
One might wonder, why the heck would the school need janitors when it's summer? Well that's because football coaches are insane. Raving lunatics, actually. They start football practices two weeks before school. That's right, I was going to be cleaning up after bunch of dirty, icky, grimy, and smelly apes. Also known as the football players.
Wonder-flippin'-ful. Note the sarcasm.
"Have fun!" Rach yelled as she drove off. Little witch.
I stomped grumpily into the building, made polite chitchat with the office lady as she directed me what to do, and gave me Mr. Notts keys. The coolest part about being a janitor is having the keys to everywhere. Insert giddy giggle. Not that I would abuse that power. Promise.
I turned out I wouldn't have much to do as there weren't that many people on the school grounds. All I had to do is tidy up the cafeteria; the pigs got to use it. Lucky poopheads. After that, then clean the locker room. You'd think that as a girl they wouldn't subject me to cleaning that little hell on earth, but no. I believed I was only janitor.
My strategy in avoiding really bad things: stall as much as humanly possible.
I thought I'd start with the cafeteria.
But what is a janitor without their cleaning tools? So off to the janitor's closet I went. I stopped at the grayish brown wooden door and gingerly rattled the handle. It was locked. I smiled happily. I had keys. I brought out the steely and cold ring of keys, which where hung on my hip. Then realization hit me. I had no inkling of an idea of which key would open the door. Dang.
My only option: try all of the keys. Looking at the keys; that would take a long time.
No time to waste right? Well actually there was…but never mind that.
After the thirty-fourth key I was about ready to give up. I leaded my face against the door and closed my eyes. I thought maybe if I concentrated and found my chi, like in those martial arts movies, I'd find the key.
So eyes closed tightly and concentrating I grew still and quiet.
"Are you trying to brake into the janitor's closet?" a deep voice said behind me.
I swear I jumped about a foot into the air, and hit my head against the door. Great, now I had a headache.
I spun around really to viciously yell at the person behind me. My eyes met a huge hulking person with demon eyes. I screamed shrilly, something between an elephant in agony and a banshee, if I do say so myself, and smacked him repeatedly with the only thing I had to defend myself. My keys. Hey! You would do that same if you thought you saw an evil monster behind you!
"MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELL YOU, DEMON!" I yelled, still hitting him. He had enough sense to try and shield himself with his arms.
"Hey! Quit it!!" he shouted back. I continued to hit him. He grabbed my arms and forced me to stop moving them. Ah. But I still had my legs. I proceeded to kick him in the shins.
"Jazmine, stop hitting me!" He shouted loudly. Wait, how did the demon know my name? I froze. Removing his hand from my arm that didn't have the keys in them, he removed his armor. Which I realized was a helmet.
Shawn. Oh joy.
Holy muffins. I had just assaulted the star player. Dang it. Coach is going to have my butt on a plate. The upside, I had just assaulted the star player.
Shawn Millers is the 'hottest' guy at school, a player, and disgustingly popular too. I won't lie; I do find him just a tiny ity bity bit attractive. Rach swears I like him. But I don't….okay maybe I do, but just a little. You see, there were times where he would actually be civil, sweet even. There where those days he seemed to know me better than anyone, even myself, it's quite scary. It's probably just a passing crush though. I swear.
Dark messy hair, tanned skin, athletic, and intense golden eyes. He has the whole flippin' school eating out of his palm. It's damned pathetic. I swore to over throw his monarchy one day. That was freshman year, sadly I haven't come up with anything and this was the beginning of my junior year… Quiet.
I thought of him mostly as a pompous, arrogant, annoying, narcissistic, rude, mean, insolent, chauvinistic, infuriating, and the list goes on.
"What in the world is wrong with you?!" he yelled at me. Well, he was definitely angry.
I glared daggers at is stupid little face, and gave him another good kick in the shin. Dang. Another reason for Coach to want to kill me.
Did I mention he has a potty mouth?
"You stupid cow! You don't just sneak up on people!" I yelled back, quite infuriated myself.
He glared heatedly, I returned it with equal force. I swear, you could cut the tension and spread it on toast.
Suddenly, his mouth twitched upward, and he began to laugh raucously. Okay, now I was annoyed. Why, for the love of Pete, was he laughing?
If looks could kill, he'd be a good thirty feet under.
"Why the hell are you laughing?" I asked, really peeved.
"You're….a janitor!" he choked out between laughs.
"Oh shut up!" I screamed, my face burning, "At least I'm helping someone!"
He snorted. Insolent pig.
"What were you doing to the door anyway?" he asked.
I rolled my eyes. Is he really that stupid? Actually, yes, yes he is.
"Trying to find the damned keys that open the ridiculous door." I said back, irritated.
He looked at the hand that held the big ring of keys. "Would it happen to be the keys with the labeling "Janitor's Closet"? " he said haughtily.
Well, I definitely felt like an idiot.
"Shut up." I grumbled, while turning and fitting the key into the lock. It opened easily. I rummaged around and retrieved the bright mustard yellow bucket, a mop, cleaning spray, gloves, and a couple of rags to clean off the tables. When I turned back around Shawn was still standing where I left him.
"Why aren't you gone?" I asked rudely. I waved my hand in another direction.
"Shoo! Now, if you don't mind." I said.
He smiled. "Ah. But I do mind."
I rolled my eyes. Smarty pants. Ignoring his presence, I made my way to the cafeteria.
The cafeteria had never seemed so…big. And so I got to work. Those tables weren't going to clean themselves.
I speedily sprayed and wiped the tables, then moved the tables to one side of the room. Which left the floor. The floor was disgusting. Football players are swine.
I was busily moping up a tough stain on the off white tiled floor when I heard a voice I had completely forgot about until then.
"You missed a spot."
My head snapped around glaring at the source of the voice. Shawn sat there at one of the tables smirking his face off, and a plate of delicious looking spaghetti in front of him. My glare faltered a little. The boy was shirtless, his football padding and helmet in the chair beside him. He, surprisingly, wasn't sickeningly muscular. You could see muscles, but they weren't bulging.
"Like what you see?" he asked cockily.
Dang it. Caught staring. Not that I meant to. Even I'm not completely immune to that body, People.
Trying, even harder than before, I ignored him and continued moving my mop back and forth in an attempt to clean.
"You missed another spot." He said, so casually.
Without missing a beat, I walked towards his table.
"What was that?" I asked, my voice dangerous and eyes narrowed.
"You. Missed. A. Spot. " he said slowly as if I was dumb. That did it. If anyone asked, I was provoked.
I lifted the mop high, and slammed the soapy wet side straight into his spaghetti.
I grinned looking at the spots of the sauce on his face. Ohh. He was pissed. His golden eyes narrowed.
"Did I get it?" I asked triumphant smile on my face.
Shawn lifted the mop from his paper plate and grabbed a hand full of noodles.
But he did.
There was a giant sick glob of dirty, soapy, wet, still warm, and saucy noodles on my face and chest.
"Nope." He replied his own devious grin on is face.
"Oh. Hell no." I growled. He was asking for it. I slapped him with my mop. He threw more spaghetti at me. Before you can say Czechoslovakia, it was an all out war.
Two minutes into it, I had ducked behind one of the tables farthest away from the door. I needed more ammunition, my dirty soap water was almost gone. I would have made a break for the door to the janitors closet to restock, but Shawn guarded the door. We were at a stale mate.
Abruptly, I heard voices from outside the cafeteria, loud whoops and yelling. More jocks. About six of them to be exact, all equipped with lunches.
"Whoa!" one blonde muscle guy said, "What happened here?" I could see why he would have that reaction, there was spaghetti and water everywhere. Shawn head popped out. Hah! Never let your guard down!
I threw a Styrofoam cup I had found, and filled it with mop water, then launched it into the air. Shawn saw and dodged it. I cursed loudly. The new comers yelled in surprise as it exploded infront of them.
"I want your lunches." Shawn said.
"Hey, no fair!" I yelled.
"Too bad!" he yelled back laugher in his voice.
Dirty cheater. I heard shuffling, then whispering. It was now or never.
I leaped out of my hiding spot and ran to the doublewide cafeteria doors. Macaroni whizzed past my face. An orange fruit drink exploded in front of me as I saw a streak of blonde. Bloody cheaters. I was almost at the door. Then out of nowhere Shawn stood between the door and me. I skidded to a halt, breathing heavily and only a couple inches away from him. He grinned. In his hand sat a lovely cup of chocolate pudding. He was going for my hair. I could feel it. There was no way on this green earth, I was going to let him put pudding in my HAIR.
I needed away to make him frozen. Shame I don't have cyrokinesis. Mind flickering back to a movie I saw, I did the unthinkable. I grabbed the back of his head squeezed my eyes shut and shoved our lips together. After about a second or two I felt his arms snake around my waist and pull me closer.
My mind was panicking. I moved to pull away, but Shawn wouldn't let me. I didn't have any time to register any of what was happening before he was passionately kissing me and I was kissing him back.
He broke away grinning and breathing heavily. I was absolutely breathless.
"Holy Moley." I mumbled astonished, my heart beating wildly. Stupid heart. He laughed.
"You know, that reminds me, I been meaning to tell you this for a long time now, but it somehow kept slipping my mind." He said happily. He paused for affect.
"Spit it out!" I snapped, his stalling irritating me. He laughed again. His laughing was doing weird things to my stomach.
His face turned serious, "I'm in love with you." My eyes widened. Oh Snap.
My mind was seriously in overdrive. "What?" I asked. I know, real intelligent.
"I." he pointed to himself, "Am. In. Love. With. " he pointed to me, "You." He said slowly, as if I was daft.
I glared. "Insolent cod." I mumbled.
"What about all the other girls hearts you've broken, smashed, and torn into pieces? How do I know that I won't be just another girl for you, just another brainless bimbo, who keeps your bed warm?" I huffed. He took my face with both hands and look at me with those damned intense eyes.
"You're the only girl that instead of swooning in my presence you want to slap me to Timbuktu, instead of brainless gossip and chatter, you can hold an intelligent conversation , you fight with me, and the only person that wants chop me into pieces if I so much as look at you, you make stupid jokes, you overreact, and have an overactive imagination, and believe it or not, I love every single aspect of you, hell, even your glares since freshman year. I would never ever ever do anything to hurt you. Besides, if I tried to get you into bed with me, you'd chop my balls off." He said his voice hushed.
I glared. "If this is a joke, it's not very funny."
He rolled his eyes and sighed. Then glared at me.
"You ignorant ninny, I love you." he said, clearly irritated. It was his eyes that convinced me. His eyes held so much truth and it almost overwhelmed me. My heart was pounding in my ears, and my stomach did the pancake.
"What about all the teasing and such?" I asked.
"Have I ever told you that it's fun pissing you off?" he said with a warm smile. I swiftly smacked him over the head and, while he was glaring at me, planted a gentle kiss on his lips. There goes the last of my pride. I knew I shouldn't have watched that romance movie.
"Even though you are a completely moronic idiot, I do believe I have fallen for your," I presented air quotes, "Charm" and "Wit." I rolled my eyes but smiled in spite of myself.
And it shocked me that it was very much true. I had fallen for him.
He ginned and quickly swooped down and kissed me soundly on the lips.
"You know what?" he said once let me breathe again.
"What?" I replied one eyebrow lifted. Before I had the chance to run, he swiftly stooped and gathered what was left of the pudding on the floor, stood, gave me a wicked grin, and smacked pudding into my hair.
I glowered. "You're not getting another kiss from me for a long long time."
I laughed as he looked crestfallen.
"You can't do that to me!" he said in despair.
The hell I can.
Haha! My first one-shot. Hope it's not too bad!
Do me a GREAT favor and….