I am so fricken sorry for not updating this in forever

The only reason I finally updated this is because of the six reviews I got on the first chapter.

This may come down.

And yes, I changed my pen name. Here it is.


I drive and drive, but somehow I still feel like I've gotten nowhere. My stupid brother and his damn, all of the sudden paternal instincts make me so mad. Who the hell does he think he is? Honestly.

One day he's there, and the next everything in his room is gone and he's nowhere to be found. Just like dad. I remember that. They both hurt mom so much. Christian never even gave us a reason as to why he left. He just did. I'll never forgive him for that. Never.

"Mom…" I sigh and it makes me jump when I realize that I said it out loud. I look around my small car, thinking someone might have heard me, but it's just me and the red dash lights, just the two of us, sitting in the middle of goddamn nowhere.

I could go to Hailey's house, but its quarter past eleven and she would be sleeping. I still can't figure out why I'm not spazzing or freaking out. My mother just got killed in a car wreck and I'm just sitting here like it's basically another "normal" day.

I pull over onto the side of the road and shut off the car. Everything goes dark. I just sit there for a moment and try to catch my breath. I feel like I can't breathe, like everything's gotten smaller. Smaller…smaller…smaller until the car is shrink-wrapped around me like leftovers in the fridge.

The next thing I know I'm out of the car running and running. To where? I don't know. I just need to run down the dark country road into the black nothing ahead.


The red numbers on the alarm clock burn my eyes, but I keep staring anyway. Sleep won't come to me. My legs are sore from running all night, my body is exhausted, but my mind will not let me go to sleep because all I think about is mom's funeral tomorrow. I don't want to go. Then I really do have to say goodbye. Goodbye is scary. I may not be freaking outside, but inside, well…I'm screaming. Wow, how cliché.

There's too many people at funerals. All of the "I'm so sorry for your loss," or the "we're going to miss her dearly." Fuck that.

Some people mean it. Others don't. They just say it because it's polite or they feel the need to say it so they don't burn in their hell or some bullshit story like that. It's sickening.

I should call Hailey and tell her I'm home. Best friends should know these things. I'm just not sure if I'll break down or not yet and I really don't want to do that in front of her right now. That would be a bad thing.

I throw the blanket off and head for the door. I need a shower.

Everything's really quiet in the house. I'm not sure if my brother has attempted to get in or not. After all, he hasn't had a key in years and mom changed the locks several times because of people trying to break in.

I shiver from the cold feeling of the floor against my bare feet and turn the thermostat up higher. I've always been one of those people who freeze even at the beach when it's ninety degrees outside. Fricken ridiculous.

So I tiptoe down the hall across the floor to the bathroom even though it seems to not be making the icy feeling go away. I don't know why, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. God I'm weird. I slam the door to the bathroom quickly and lock it even though no one else is here. I'm scared. Why am I scared? Bumps creep up my arms and down my body signaling something's wrong. Everything seems okay….but something's not.

Sweat runs down my cheek. I can taste it. The metallic, salty taste of fear.

"Wha- what's going on," I whisper.

The floor feels shakes beneath me, melting and twisting like a sea of molten metal. The paint on the walls blur and smear into a waterfall of blank colors and I'm falling. Again I'm falling.

This chapter is suck and short. Sorry. I think in order to update this; I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind and post it…or something like that. So if stuff doesn't make sense, well…I apologize in advance. Oh yeah, DID NOT PROOF THIS.