I was home alone. And for some reason, happy. Just another day sitting on the computer talking to my friends on Yahoo! Messenger and AIM. All of a sudden i hear "WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF CRACK ARE YOU ON?!?!"
Okay, creepy much?

I look out my kitchen window. Of course, who else? Only my disturbingly attractive 14 year old neighbors. The funny part was what they were trying to do.
They were trying to figure out the lock to my front gate's combination. The thing is, i have 2 other gates.
Which i might mention, are unlocked. 24/7.

So these retards are crowding around the dipshit that's the leader of their little group, encouraging him, suggesting numbers, and advising to "pull it after every number to see if it gets loose."
I laugh to myself. I distinctly remember looking out my bedroom window just a few days ago at my beet-faced mother, yelling at the same exact kids. They ran away once they saw her walk out into the yard. One was left behind. He braced for mercy as my mom opened her mouth to yell.
"Tell your friends that if they want the combination, i'll tell them."
My momma's spunkily sarcastic.I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.

Anyway. I finally get fed up and go to open the window. By the way, my heart's beating like crazy. Y'know, cos there are 5 really hot shirtless guys outside my house and i'm about to yell profanities at them.
No need to freak.
I stop thinking and start acting. Next thing you know, i'm yelling.
"HAVING FUN, DUMBASS?!...Fuck you!" The kid immediately looks up from the lock and slurs out a "whaaaaaa?" as he turns around and quickly walks to his friends.
I smile. I notice they're talking to each other. About what? I assume they won't see me from the upstairs' windows. So i run upstairs to my parent's bedroom and peer out the window.
Oohh the sweet exercise.

They're arguing. "She saw you!"..."I don't care what she says!"..."She sounded pissed."..."So what?"..."Don't piss girls off! They slap!" They then huddle together and murmur things i can't hear. Next thing i know, 2 of them are heading toward my front door. I look down..short shorts. On my fat, white thighs. NOT attractive.
I mean..not that i want to look attractive to these assholes..it's just...yeah...DOORBELL!

I hear it as i'm putting on my belt. I run halfway down the stairs and hesitate..what do they really have to say to me? Nothing, really.
Exactly! They're ding-dong-ditching me!
I look in the eyehole just to make sure. Yep, no one's there, and i hear them running to one of the boys' house.
I am such a clever little person. ::voice gets all small and twiddles fingers:: "...excellent..."

I run upstairs again. Man, i could really get used to this. My heart rate must be double! I'm pretty much ready to die! But you can see from the fact that my last 234320932 sentences ended in exclamation points that i really don't give a damn!
"SHE SAW YOU." One short blonde kid accuses. "Did not. I ran fast."
Or, the girl you were trying to prank foresaw it and never opened the door anyway. Eh? Anyone? Or are you guys so into your own egos that you can't notice the chick being smart for once?
..guys. ::shakes head in shame::

A new kid approaches the group. He sees the kid i yelled at is sitting on the curb, glaring.
"Whuzz wrong witchu?"
Oooh, sensitive.
The kid i yelled at gets up, points directly at my living room window, and hisses, "She insulted me!!" The guy turns to look at the window, an amused smile on his face. He looks back at the kid, and says kind of stupidly but obnoxiously...

"She's awesome."