Have you ever been in a dream where you wish with all your heart, that it would never end? Where your flying the skies maybe, and you can just feel the wind on our face and the feel of the sun on your outstretched arms? Or maybe your swimming in the ocean, with nothing there but the calm waves and a surf board nicely nearby, ready to take the next big swell.
I remember one of my dreams. I sat under a brilliant blue sky with nothing there but me and it. I looked up into it and saw something, something I wont ever forget. I saw myself.
After I awoke from my dream I tried to grasp the meaning of it, but like most dreams you cant find any meaning in them at all. But like some dreams, this one stuck out to me. It stuck to me like super glue on your fingers, it wouldn't leave me alone and I couldn't shake it off so easily. I knew it had to have meaning behind it.
I cant remember any dream before or after that one. I always wake up with a faint fuzzy feeling, as if something is there to remember but my subconscious thinks its best for me not to know what it was. But everyday I try, with everything I have to remember any dream. But all there is, is nothing.
It started the day after junior year. I looked at the sky before me and saw that everything was possible, nothing held me back. No ropes and chains held my ankles and wrists, no heavy burden to weigh down the weight of the world on my shoulders. Everything was as it should be. Or as I thought I should be. I walked home that day, feeling the wind on my face. The reassuring calm that held me like a mothers gentle touch. My house was only a few blocks from school, and I got home in no time flat.
I dropped my bag by the floor and walked quickly through the house. I passed by the family photos that hung on the entry way wall. The goofy smile of my cousin and I as we grabbed each others necks ready to strangle each other. My sisters funny face that she made to the camera last spring brake. One photo stuck out in particular as I passed by it. It was of me and my uncle David last Christmas. It was nothing special, just a photo of two people who didn't know how to smile at the camera right, but it stuck out. Just like the dream I had mentioned before.
I walked past the photos and found myself in the living room. It was small, consisting of a lumpy red couch and an old Sony television. I walked past the couch and the television, and past the coffee table that stood between them. It was so covered with junk that I couldn't tell or even remember that color it really was. I just kept walking.
I came to the back door screen. It always jammed, so as I walked out into the backyard, the screen door feel on top of me. I stood feeling foolish and sighed out loud. I was forever braking every door in the entire house. I alone broke the front door three times.
I put the screen back on and continued on my way. Our backyard was the largest one I knew of on our block. We had nothing fancy. No pool, no large trees, no swings, no playground. It was just grass and concrete. I walked out to the middle of the yard and flopped pitifully on the ground. I was at last back in my place, where I spent most of the hours of my entire short life.
I looked up at the sky and everything was at peace. This was me, I am the sky. I am the wind. I am me.