Based on a recent, and very uneccassary, discussion with my good friend Hannah. I have decided I would not do well at speed dating. Which, since I have never speed dated before, leads me to only guess what it is like. Based on the sample questions Hannah threw at me, i have concluded that I am the least romantic girl in the room.
So what brings you to speed dating?
Umm, well all my friends are at a movie, and I dont have any money at the moment. So basically I'm here for the free food. Which i really gross acctually.
Oh, so your not really here for love?
What? oh sorry I spaced out, i was reading that poster ( dont be afraid to be your self!) and I was wondering what that kid on the picture could possibly be thinking, plaid and paisley? ew!
I think thats the point of the poster.
Well thats not fun- oh! theres the bell, it was wonderful to meet you. Carl
My Name isn't-
Yea thats great, excuse me.
At this point I would go to get more free brownies.
So are you trying to see how many brownies you can fit in your mouth?
Whad? O no, dis is how I ead.
Ah, well I'll get to the point. if you were to be my girl friend what would be your greatest thing to add to the realtionship.?
ummm, I dont care?
You wouldn't care about the realtionship?
No I mean I wouldn't care if you started to check out other girls asses, I mean sure go right ahead, afterall I'm checking out that guys ass right now.
You sure are strange arn't you?
No, just bored.
At this point I'd probably start to make a tower out of plastic forks.
So whats your name?
Sorry I had too much brownie in my mouth.
Ah ok, so what makes you a good girlfriend?
i wont make you go to chick flicks
Why is that?
Cuz they are annoying beyond belief, honestly the female race just irks me.
So are you a lesbian?
if i was, you would think i would acctually like the female race. No they just bug me, so whiney.
Interesting, I don't think I've ever met a female who hated being female.
No I don't hate being female, trust me its really nice to have certain assets when you cant pay for something. I just hate other females.
At this point I would probably be getting out a pen and some post its and start to doodle.
Hi I'm Rupert.
I would probably be drawing some weird cartoon using my horrible artistic skills to create a wonderful little witty stroy about pop rocks in cereal.
So are you going to say anything?
Oh no, I'm here for the food but please feel free to talk to yourself.
By this point I'd probably get bored, stuff as much food in my purse as I could and leave.
So as you can see besides the fact that I apparently no social life. I do not belong in speed dating.