RANDOM (x 10) Beat That!
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My Mom's Employee: I'd like to buy that vase for 10$ please.
Turkish Salesman: NO! NO! First we bargain!
Employee: Umm… $8?
Turkish Salesman: NO!
Employee: $9?
Turkish Salesman: NO!
Employee: $10???
Turkish Salesman: It's a deal!
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Quote/ Experience/ Random thing submitted by: Moonlite-Chaos
(So
all the ninth graders were on the bus to the Carrer fair. And it's
noisy and everyone talking about what they wanted to be when they
grew up.)
Me:
I want to a Nuclear Physist thing personage. That way, it will be
easier to blow up the world when I lose my mind.
John:
I want to own my own burrito shop. Erika, you can be my little Taco
mascot.
Me:
WOOT WOOT!
Shelby:
I wanna be a hooker. That way, I can get paid to do the thing I like
to do the most.
Me:...
John:
I've got ten bucks right now.
About
twenty minutes later... .
Shelby:
(at the top of her lungs so everyone can hear) EVERYONE SHUT
UP!!
Everyone:
(actually shuts up)
Shelby:
I'M PREGNET!
Me:
(stands up) IT'S NOT MINE I SWEAR! I HAVEN'T TOUCHED HER SINCE THIS
MORNING!
Shelby:
YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME!(mock cries)
John:
I wore a condom.
Amaris:
Erika...you're a girl.
Me:
Oh...SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T MINE!!
Principal:
Well...it sure ain't mine.
Everyone:
(dead silence)
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(Something Random that Happened to me and my dad.)
Me: (On a mountain lake): AHHHHH! THE WATER IS SOOOOO COLD! (I had pneumonia after going in Knee-Deep.)
Dad: (Touches the water): OH GOD! You're right!
Random German Girls Walk Up To The Lake and Touch the Water: Ahhhhh!(In a good way) (Jump in and start splashing themselves.)
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Rob: Let's go inside now.
Me: Ok, let's check the mail first… (Open's mailbox with a CRAPLOAD of mail in it!)
Rob: MOSES CHRIST!
Me: What the hell?
Rob: Oh Sorry, MOSES CHRIST JR!
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(My Dad and I were shopping in Wal-Mart in one of my dreams.)
Dad: Excuse me, where are the door hinges?
Salesman: Over there, in Aisle 7.
Dad: Thanks.
Salesman: Do you want a screw to go along with the door hinge?
Dad: EXCUSE ME? You gay fag! I'm with a child here, and you speak like THAT?!?!
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(My Dad and I were fishing.)
Dad: Were going to throw this fish back, its too small.
Me: Then why are you cutting it up?
Dad: Well, I need my worm back!
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Andrew: Oh My God!
Mr. Hager (Teacher): Watch your tongue, you might offend someone! Come here into my room, we need to… talk…
Andrew: RAPE! RAPE! I'M BEING RAPED BY MR. HAGER! (Runs off)
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Rob: What's better, a guy or a girl…
Me: What do you think?
Rob: Girls…
Me: But YOU'RE A GUY! Or are you…
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