I thought you were the one. I know that we are young, but I thought that we could last. That you would wait like you said you would. I found out how the pastor's sermon could be true. God does end in a way that you didn't expect. I've seen that over and over again. So I no longer assume. And I no longer trust you. I trust God. And a few others. Like your mother. And my step-mother. And my father. But no longer you.
And I no longer think that you are the one. I think you are the one that God wanted me to meet for that season. And only that. Maybe a lesson was to be learned for you. I don't know what's going on through your mind or how our relationship affected you. But I can say with full honesty, that I learned a lesson. Many.
I will never forget you. Or stop caring for you. I pray for you every night. God lays you on my heart. Did I scare you? Is that why you left? Did I talk too much? Did I say too many foolish words? Or was the truth just I didn't give you what you were looking for? I honestly refused to believe. Refused. But I seem to be forced to wonder…
Dear boy, I really hope that you will at least be my friend. I understand if you are angry with me. I understand if you honestly don't like me anymore. But never forget. And think of it as God using me to open your eyes. He used you to open mine.
And never think for one second that I didn't trust you. At one point, I did. I had to. I didn't want to let go of my fear because I knew it was protecting me, but I did. I was so in love, I was blinded and had to. But you broke that. And it'll be awhile before you restore that.
And I still think the world of you in the aspect of your faith. You are serious about God but like all of us, you have your down falls. Your struggles. Your own lessons to learn, and places to mature. To grow.
I am a little disappointed though that I was wrong. I was so happy. I thought I was in God's will. And for a time, I was. But the time has passed, and the season is gone. We must both go on because God broke this. Remember the good, as I will try with you. I can't help to. I will remember our down falls too but trust me, I still remember the good, the love that I felt toward you. The love that you seemed to have toward me. For now you are only a memory but maybe in the future, we'll be friends again. Obviously, not even friendship is God's will. And that's okay with me.
Good-bye, boy. Good-bye, past love. Good-bye, broken heart.
Please never forget.
Thank you for loving me when it had been right,