The more pain I release
Tears flow heavily down my face
My mind is finally at peace,
For now at least,
Until something bad happens
Then I'll be back on this floor
Bleeding out all of my sins,
I know It's not right,
I'm hurting myself because of others,
But sometimes I can't help it
I want to feel better,
I've hidden a blade
Deep within my plushed, blue pillow,
And when my parents come to clean my room,
They find noting but poems filled with sorrow,
I'm on the floor again,
Hitting vain after vain,
But this time is different
I'm not crying though I am in so much pain,
Is this the end?
Have I struck my last vain?
It can't be that easy
I'm still in so much shame,
I take my blade,
And continue my dirty work
But now these thoughts of suicide are going through my mind,
"Maybe if i cut this vain, I'll die with no self worth."
My face has turned pale
My heart is pounding fast,
My hand feels cold and numb,
And my moms car has just past,
No one is home now,
And I'm all alone ,
Am I regreting my own death?
I dial 911 on my phone,
"Help, help, I'm going to die!"
They rushed over here quick,
As I felt though that were my final goodbye,
They carried me on a strecher
And my parents were crying their eyes out,
"I'm sorry I let you down."
I said with little hesitation,
" Darling we love you, we'll get you some help."
They said as they left my strecher,
And a fear of death is what I soon felt,
Now I sit , In my living chair,
Thinking about this great life,
That I almost left bare,
I had it so great,
But formed some helpless lie in my mind,
That I was a horrible little girl,
And that my parents wanted me to die,
Now I know that I'm healthy and kind,
But I still have these scars upon my wrists,
That'll remind me of that unbelieve time.