You left me standing there, all alone in my room. You took everything with you, so I didn't even have one small and insignificant trinket of yours to hold onto. I could see you from my window. I watched you climb into your car and drive away.
You didn't look back once. Did you?
You called me, when you were halfway there. Just to tell me how the drive was going and how tired you were. You found a rest stop. Congratulations. I kept the tremors from my voice. You never suspected a thing did you?
After a week of being there, you uploaded photos onto your server. I looked at them, I really did. You looked happy, like you were having so much fun. You never looked that happy here. I cried again, there, too.
I see you online a lot. We still talk. I still cry.
But you don't know anything, do you? You don't know how hard it is for me to watch all my friends with their significant others...all I can do is think back on what I used to have. And miss it. Miss you.
You don't know how much I miss those late night runs to Perkins or hanging out at Holiday around 3:00 am. You don't know how much I miss watching House with you late into the night. You don't know how much I miss curling up next to you and falling asleep.
I don't let you know how much it hurts me. Because it would only hurt you, too. I don't want to hurt you. I'd rather suffer alone, by myself. This seems to be the way my life always goes.
I know you're happy down there. I know you're going to do something great with your life. I hope you do, that is my sincerest wish for you. I want you to remain happy and carefree. I want you to dream big and chase after your goals. I want you to succeed.
If you knew how sad I was, it would only hold you back.
You don't want to leave them, your friends down there. I don't want to be the one that forces you to leave. But this distance...it's an unbearable strain. Maybe not for you, but for me...it hurts.
I cry a lot, just thinking about how far away you are now. I cry when I remember all the stupid little things we used to do. The smile slowly fades from my face and I feel hot tears sliping down my cheeks. It's hard to stop them once they start.
But you don't know. You'll never know.
I'll just keep going, faking a smile for you, so you can be happy. Because that's what I want.
I love you...
For anyone in a long-distance relationship, who knows how hard it is...but keeps trying anyways. Love will conquer distance.