You never look in mirrors.
Your own eyes might burn you if you did.
You can't bare to see the things you didn't do carved in lines upon your face, the things you did do slumping your shoulders and dragging you down into yourself. It eats at you like a vicious cancer, and you're afraid of your own mangled soul.
You don't think anybody notices, but they do. They all see the way you can't face yourself. It's in every turn of your body, every gesture you make. Everything you do betrays your shame.
You can't look into the eyes of the people you've hurt, because it's just like looking into yourself. That's why you hurt them; the reason that you lash out. You're too much of a coward to discover how damaged you really are.
So you push, and you pull, and you're so blinded by fear that you can't see the debris lying at your feet. And soon you won't be able to see anything at all.