"Do you love me?"
There it was. That question. I'd been dreading it for… well since I started dating Kevin. It's not like I'm scared of love or anything. I'm not! Well maybe I am, just a little. But who isn't? Seriously, love means that ultimate… something that makes you care about someone so much you could just explode if you can't be with them. Does that exist, that type of love? I mean can I possibly be with someone for the rest of my life? Can I actually love that one other person out of billions for as long as we both shall live? But who's talking about marriage. Not me! I'm talking about love. L-O-V-E, that word. That four-letter word that means so much to us human beings, can I possibly feel that for Kevin…
"Yeah, of course I do." I lied.
Or maybe I didn't lie. Maybe I do love Kevin. No, I do love Kevin. I know I love Kevin. He's perfect for me. He's sweet, and gentle, and… amazing and… sweet. Good looking! He's definitely good looking. Light brown hair, droopy smile and gorgeous brown eyes; Oh God I just described our neighbor's dog… No, but he's great. Well, the point is, I love Kevin. He's amazing, and I love him.
"Well, why haven't we had sex yet?"
That caught me off guard. "What?" I half chuckled, trying not to show my embarrassment. "You think I don't love you because we haven't had sex?" Well actually we haven't had sex because I don't love you. No! I do love him!
He let out a sigh from over by the fridge. "No, I just want to know when sex might be possible."
What, is he getting tired of waiting? Does someone have to be in a sexual relationship to be in love? Is it possible to love someone without sex? Am I crazy? "You know I'm not ready." He knows that!
"I know that." He rubbed the bridge of his nose like he had a headache. "Is it something I did?"
Jeez, can't he just accept that I'm not ready, and I'll let him know when I am. Do men need sex to function? Can't they go… six months without any sex? That's not unreasonable is it? Wow, I really am crazy. For once I would just love to be in a relationship that doesn't require me to explain to my significant other why I'm not ready to fuck him.
"Look, Kevin. I love you," I stood up from the table where I was happily sipping my coffee moments ago, and walked over to him placing my hands on his chest. "I really do. I know it's not fair to you, but I really am just not ready. Please I don't want you to doubt me for one second that I don't love you." I leant up and gave him a kiss on the lips. When I pulled back he didn't look at all relieved that it wasn't his fault I didn't want to sleep with him. "Look Lena," His tone was sharp and mater-of-factly. Slowly, I pushed away from him. "A few months ago, I met this woman…"
So, Mr. Big-puppy-dog-eyes is sleeping around. He's cheating! He's a cheater! No, he's not just cheating; he's cheating on ME! Did I mention that I hate Kevin? And I was actually thinking about having sex with him. Well, maybe not as much as he was hopping for, but what a bastard! Kevin's been fucking around, and I had no fucking clue.
"What!" I practically yelled.
"Look Lena, I really do care about you. It's just…" He stopped to think of end of his sentence. "I have needs too."
Bull fucking shit. Can you believe the nerve of this man? Do you love me? Hell no! I pushed some blond hair out of my face. Blinking a few times, I realized that this was actually happening to me. "Well Kevin," I said calmly "You are fucking disgusting, and It's so fortunate that we're not living together because all your shit would be on the sidewalk right now." He simply rolled his eyes. Who did he think he was rolling his eyes at me?
"Don't be so dramatic Lena, we both new this would happen sooner or later." I certainly didn't know this was going to happen.
"No I didn't. I thought you were a decent guy."
"Look, I'm sorry it had to end like this. I'm going to leave." He said collecting his bag from beside the fridge.
"No! You are not going to just leave. I am kicking you out! Get out!" I screamed at him, while pointing to the door. He looked at me as if I was crazy, which I probably am. Grabbing his coat, he quietly made his way towards the door. I wasn't even looking at him. My back was turned and I actually felt like crying. I couldn't cry; he's not worth it. I heard the door open, and before I knew what I was doing I yelled: "Stop!"
Spinning around I noticed he was waiting for me to say whatever it was I was going to say. I hesitated. "Is she pretty?" I don't even know why I asked. That question what totally irrelevant.
He also hesitated. "Yeah, she's pretty." Then he shut the door behind him.
Fucking bastard could have lied. I just wanted him to say No, darling she's hideous, and you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. Of course he wasn't going to say that, but he said yeah she's pretty. What the hell does that mean! Is she pretty pretty? Is she pretty amazing? Is she prettier then me?
I'm not saying I'm the most gorgeous creature alive, but I've fairly confident in my looks. There are things I'd like to change about myself. Like, my eyes, and my nose, and my teeth, and my… breasts. Yeah, that's right I don't like my breasts. I think they're too big. There's nothing wrong with a C-cup, but I just want a B-cup. B-cups are always so much perkier and cute. Well, whatever Kevin sure liked them.
So, now I was standing there. I was just standing there, wondering what to do now. I was on the rebound. I was single. I needed a drink. I grabbed my coat, and checked the time. 11:17 in the evening. Maybe a bar was open, or something. I slipped on my shoes, grabbed my coat and left my apartment. I pressed the elevator button, and tapped my toes impatiently. Have you ever noticed how long elevators seem to take when you're pissed off? Eventually, the familiar ding sounded and I climbed into the elevator. Someone was already in it of course. Have you also ever noticed how when you're pissed off and there happens to be someone else in the elevator with you, and it seems to be the best place to scream your head off, but you can't because someone is already in there? Yeah, I noticed that as well.
He was quite tall, dark brown hair almost black. Blue eyes… tall… very tall. I smiled briefly at him. He smiled back. I went to press the ground button but noticed it was already pushed. So, instead of embarrassing myself, I pushed the 'close doors' button so it looked like I wasn't just about to push an already pushed button. I briefly saw his eyes flicker to me, then away. I did the same.
A few moments later the doors slid open to reveal the lobby. He motioned for me to get out first, and I smiled briefly again at him. I walked across the lobby, my heels clanking at the marble floor as I reached the revolving doors. Because my building is just so high tech I don't actually have to push the revolving doors. They spin on they're own. It's actually very helpful for when I'm coming home with tons of bags, and can't push the doors on my own. Except today, this fateful day; just as I was turning threw the doors, they stopped. Making my head bounce off the glass.
AND IT FUCKING HURT
I yelped as I hit the floor. Well, excuse me Mr. Revolving-door, I though you were so cool moving on your own, but I guess I was wrong. "Stupid piece of shit." I mumbled. Shakily I stood up and tried pushing on the door, but it wouldn't move.
"It wont budge, no matter how hard you push it." Came a deep voice from behind. I spun around to see the man from the elevator in the next revolving door wedges. He was stuck as well. "Are you okay?" His face suddenly hardened, and his voice was full of concern, and distant since a large piece of glass was separating us.
"Yeah I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"
"Because you're bleeding."
Was I? Opps. I was suddenly aware of the stinging sensation on my forehead. Lifting my hand to my head, I felt sticky warm blood just at my hairline. "Shit." I cursed under my breath. I really wasn't in the mood to be trapped in here.
"Are you okay?" He repeated.
I flashed a smile. "Yeah, just peachy. By, the way, what's going on with these doors?"
Just then, I saw Kenny the night watchman guy hurry over to us. He stood in the lobby, and tried to push the doors. "They won't budge." He decided. No shit Kenny. I believe we figured that out. "I guess no one set the timers on the revolving doors since day light savings."
"So you're telling me the doors think it's 12 instead of 11." I yelled to Kenny, since he probably couldn't hear me so well through three slabs of glass.
"So when can we get out of here?" Asked the man.
"Um, morning." Kenny said innocently.
I gaped at him. "Excuse me!"
"Well, it doesn't turn back on until 6:00 in the morning. I don't have the master keys to override the doors. I'm sorry."
I pushed my hair out of my face and sighed. I've just broken up with my boyfriend because he was fucking around, and now I'm stuck in a revolving door until morning. I really don't need this right now. I heard Kenny walk away, as I was left alone with Mr. what's-his-face. Then because I was so emotional I just burst out crying. I slid down the glass and buried my face in my hands. "Miss, are you okay?" He asked for the third time tonight.
"No!" I spat. "This has been the worst day of my life!"
As if on cue, the entire lobby fell into darkness. I could just make out the shape of the guy beside me. "Please don't tell me it just got worse."
"Well, I think it might have."
I let out a huge groan. Then I heard Kenny yell. "The phones are out. I was going to call 911, but it's pointless now. You're just going to have to wait it out."
Why didn't I just stay in my fucking apartment? It would have been so simple to just wallow in my horrible self-pity and hope Kylie calls. Maybe I could eat an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's, maybe listen to some Van Morrison. Then crawl into a hole and die. I began to wipe my tears, feeling completely ridiculous in front of a complete stranger.
"Well, I'm off. I'll be back in the morning, see you then." Useless Kenny said packing up all his things, and leaving the building threw one of the non-revolving doors. How could he just leave us here all night? Was there no way he could call the police? Would the police even do anything? Probably not, they have far better things to do.
I heard the man slid down the glass, and sigh. How come he was so calm? He wasn't overreacting, or crying like a baby. Well, he didn't just find out his boyfriend was cheating on him. "My names Jack, by the way."
Small talk! Just what I needed right now… Pushing my hair out of my face. I looked next to me. I could mostly see his eyes. They were reflecting the streetlights from outside. I could tell his hair was lopsided and shaggy, almost like he just woke up. "Lena." I introduced myself, with a quiet voice.
"Thanks." Why do people always say thanks after someone compliments their name? It's not like I chose my name in hopes someone would like it. If anything, I should be thanking my parents. They thought of it.
"So worst day of your life?" He echoed what I said. "I thought today was quite nice actually, I found five dollars."
I snorted. "Lucky you."
Just then, the lights flickered back on, and I finally smiled. The doors were still stuck though. But at least I could see. The man, properly named Jack was sitting beside me, with his knees up. He was wearing a dark blue shirt, with a brown cord jacket over top, and dark blue jeans. On his feet he wore red All-Star Converses. "I like your shoes." I said noticing them. I loved All-Stars. I had a pair of black ones.
He smiled down at them, and then looked at my feet. "Thanks, I wish I could say the same for you, but those look uncomfortable." I looked down at my feet, which were dressed in beautiful black boots that had quite a high heel.
I chuckled. "Yeah, they're not so comfortable, but I actually have a good excuse for wearing them. Not just: But they're so pretty."
"Hmm? Let me guess, special event?" He had a small smirk on his face.
I shook my head. "Nope."
"Hmm… where could a woman be off too at 11:30 on a Friday night, wearing uncomfortable shoes?" He thought about it for a moment. "A party, maybe a new club?"
"Well, actually I was going to get drunk." I said sadly. Why the hell did I admit that! I don't even know this guy.
He raised an eye questionably. "By yourself?" I just nodded. It seemed like such a stupid idea right now. "It might not be such a good idea to get drunk at this time."
"Yeah I know." I sounded ashamed. Well I should be.
"What could have possibly happened to have you break down in a rotating door?"
"Well, apart from finding out my boyfriend is sleeping around, then hitting my head on a glass door, my day has been fine."
"Tell me about it."
"So it's safe to say those shoes aren't meant to impress your boyfriend."
"They're for dancing." He looked confused. "I'm a dancer. I've just realized I don't have the strongest feet. So I wear these, because they help me strengthen my feet, and help me with balance."
Jack thought about it. "What kind of dancer are you?"
" I heard Ballet is hard."
"Extremely." There was some silence, before I asked him a question. "What do you do?"
"Well, I go to the New York Academy of Art, but I work at an advertising agency… for now."
"You're an artist?"
"Yeah. I draw."
"I always wished I could draw."
"It's a great time consumer." He smiled at me. I don't even know why he smiled. I liked the corners of his mouth; they were perfect when he smiled.
We sort of stared at each other for about a minute. Then I spoke. "Where were you off too?"
"Oh…" I was a little disappointed. I mean I am aloud to think other men are attractive now, all thanks to Kevin. At least something good came out of this. "What's her name? I might know her."
Didn't ring a bell. "Don't know her."
Another small pause, but they weren't awkward. Normally pauses are so annoying when you first meet someone. These were fine. I quite enjoyed him company. "Lena, right?" He made sure. I liked the way he said my name. He made it sound nice.
"Well Lena, I know this doesn't sound very nice, but I'm glad your boyfriend turned out to be a jerk." Now that's a sentence you don't hear everyday.
I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Because you and I would have never met."
A smile spread across my lips. No one's ever said they've been happy to meet me. I feel important, and the nasty weight of Kevin was just lifted. "I guess you have this door to thank." I simply pointed out.
"I guess your right." He dramatically cleared his throat, which I thought was cute. "Thank you rotating doors."
Thanks for reading the first chapter. Please tell me what you think. :)