Chapter Thirteen - Psychic

Koro is a big fat idiot.

Now we've cleared that up…. He's also not my trainer anymore.

Some magical strings were pulled and he's become the sole trainer of Jordius.

Apparently Rueben made the call. He seemed to think I was making good progress and Koro's full attention should be focused on the newest trainee.

Now, I'm all for Jordius receiving some decent training and the constitutional rights of polar bears, but…what about me?

I can't explain how I feel about the idea of Koro not being around.

But I'll give it a shot. Imagine someone have at your innards with an egg beater.

As soon as the door to Rueben's office opens, I'm gunna march in there and…

And…

And say angry things!

I glare at the door. Yes, prepare yourself mortal!

Quail! I order the door mentally. Quail in fear, dammit!

Are doors mortal?

"Naku." comes Rueben's voice.

That's me!

I stride forward and push the door open. Rueben stands behind his desk as I enter.

"Ruebeenix?"

"Sorry?" asks Rueben.

"Hi." says Vheenix.

Vheenix, looking comfortably perky, is sitting in one of the two chairs opposite the desk.

"Please have a seat." Reuben offers with a wave of the hand.

I was worried, confused and craving red cordial. All I wanted to do was get my ranting heard, ignored, and be on my way to the canteen.

But…there was something about the way Vheenix was smiling.

"Mmmmokay." I sat down, remembered I was angry and started glaring at Rueben.

The Captain took his seat again and shifted a little under my death stare. "Naku," he intervenes, "First of all, I'd like you to know that when I made the decision to remove you from Koro's tutorage it was not personal in any way."

I puff up my cheeks like an angry squirrel. It felt a little personal to me. I was being shafted because Jordius was more important than I was.

"You have more than proven yourself with your former trainer." Reuben adds quickly. Yeah, nobody likes an upset rodent.

"I felt he had nothing left to coax out of you so I am appointing you a new trainer to tackle different angles of your power."

My glare falls off and I blink slowly at him. "What other angles?"

"Telekinesis is the ability to control objects using one's mind power. You have practised on corporeal objects and now I'd like you to attempt to control other forms of power."

I blink at him. Translation: blink, blink!

"You deflected Koro's pyro-beams, correct?"

I nod.

"Vheenix will work with you on manipulating other agent's powers."

I give a melodramatic shudder. "That sounds difficult."

Vheenix leans over and rests a hand on the top of my knee. I look up and catch his sympathetic gaze. "Not to worry, I'm good at messing with other people's power. I'm the best person to train you. Koro will still be your Squad Leader so I'll report to him now too."

I felt my eyes widen and my frown turn upside down. "Does that mean you're part of Koro's Squad now?"

Vhee twitches his nose thoughtfully and glances at Reuben. "Yes or no, sir?"

Reuben folds his arms on the desk top, mouth set in a stiff line. "Vheenix, you were sent here with orders from Captain Ramirez to have no participation in Squads or missions. You have been demoted and until further notice you are to be confined and supervised at all times."

Vheenix's warm palm slips off my leg as he slumps back in his chair with a sigh.

I keep my eyes on Reuben who looks uncomfortable. "Yet," he suddenly continues, "in taking on a member of Koro's Squad to train, you now must report to him and follow his orders so technically…" He drew a breath and let it out slowly, "Yes, you are."

Vheenix's gazillion watt smile matched my own. "I'm an agent again?"

Reuben grudgingly summons a stack of forms. He glares at us one after the other.

"Let me warn you – " But he trails off, glare melting away. He shakes his head, raising a hand to massage his temple. "I shouldn't waste my breath should I? Warning the two craziest Agents ever to have walked, ran and SCUBA dived these halls to stay in line and follow orders."

I agreed.

Vheenix procures a yellow crayon and scribes an 'X' in the middle of the document Ruben offered him.

-

Vheenix and I left the office together. I trot along in Vheenix's exuberant wake.

"I'm a goddamn agent again! I wish there was some kind of badge I could wear, you know, like those 'It's My Birthday!' ones."

I make a noncommittal grunt. Vheenix stops and cranes his neck to squint at me over his shoulder. "Neh, what's wrong? Your aura is all pouty."

"How is that even possible?" I snap, flapping my arms.

He turns back and shrugs. "The advice is free," he says as he starts walking, "but the reasoning is extra."

In my opinion that still didn't make any sense. "Where are we going?"

"Training! We start right away!" Vheenix brakes into a jog. He skids around a corner, his long shiny ponytail whipping out of sight. I hurry after him.

"Hey!" I call as I catch up. "What's the plan, Mr Trainer Man?"

"I thought we should start on some familiar ground." he says, not slowing down at all. "We're going to gain a deeper understanding of the one person's power you do already know how to control."

I nearly tripped flat on my face. "Koro?"

"Yup."

"Where is he? Do you know?"

"Do I know!?" he echoed incredulously. "I can feel him a mile away! I can always feel him!"

I pounce forward closing the gap between us, snagging him by the elbow and pulling him to a standstill.

A raging curiosity about Koro's hidden emotions had been fizzing in me since Vheenix's breakdown. "What does he feel like?" I ask breathlessly. "Please, tell me."

I just caught the vicious narrowing of Vhee's eyes before he suddenly gripped my arm and swung me bodily around into the wall. The impact jolted my head back and made me bite my tongue.

"I can do one better," he whispers. "I'll show you."

I stare up at Vheenix numbly as he leans over me, pinning me to the wall. The gems coiled around his wrists and neck are glowing softly. In my experience with Vhee's power...that wasn't good.

The purple light trickles from the dangling amethysts. It crawls like a mist down his long fingers and onto my skin. I stay completely frozen as Vheenix's aura coats me to the core. He leans even nearer, large eyes inches from mine. I am breathing in his aura, everything that he is, and yet it isn't purely him.

An image of sharp, coal black eyes flash through my head.

"Koro is so lost," comes Vheenix's voice, but now all I can see are those familiar dark eyes. "He's tired of holding on."

A wave of exhaustion consumes me.

"He fights because he so dearly doesn't want to be alone."

Dark eyes.

Relaxed smile.

Stabbing pain.

Searing heat.

Throbbing ache.

Always alone.

Never alone!

I can't be alone.

But it's what I deserve.

Always alone.

Like I deserve.

I can't bear it!

Stop trying.

It's over.

Just end it.

It's my fault.

I deserve it.

"The anger is fading," that voice again, "but the bitterness, the hatred, the guilt."

I can't bear it!

Stop trying.

"God, the guilt! You would do anything to tear out the guilt!"

It's over.

Just end it.

"But it would be ripping out a piece of your soul. The guilt belongs there like your lungs and kidneys."

It's my fault.

I deserve it.

"Always, always. Guilt."

The black eyes fade to shimmering purple pair. The fatigue and self loathing recedes as Vheenix draws his aura away. The guilt that was lodged like a bullet in my chest is gone and without it, I feel lost.

Vheenix steps away, leaving me slumped against the wall.

My breathing is ragged. To have such intense emotions pushed and pulled out of you so quickly is shattering.

I screw my eyes shut and swallow a small sob.

Koro. I didn't know.

"Come along." Vheenix startles me, "He's still in the training hall with Jordius."

He leads the way again and I follow, trying to wipe all traces of my tears away before I have to face Korolie.

I was afraid to ever find out the reason he had such a debilitating sense of guilt.

"Vheenix?" I ask quietly.

He 'hmm?'s and slows down to walk beside me.

"Koro? He feels like this all the time?"

Vheenix looks disgruntled. "You asked! You wanted to know so I showed you. I knew it was going to be nasty but I thought you wanted to know. Now you regret it!"

"You're wrong," I say curtly, "I did want to know. I don't regret at all. I'm glad you let me into his feelings. It's very important to me." I stumble to a stop; eyes focused on the floor, the tears are creeping back. "Koro is very important to me." I add softly. "If he carries such pain all the time, I have to help heal him."

Vheenix's sneakers step into my visible area of floor. He is standing very close before me. I hear him sigh my name. "I'm sorry. Your aura is very cloudy and I misread you."

I sniff.

A warm pair of fingertips are placed under my chin, the slight pressure makes me raise my face a touch to meet Vhee's smiling eyes. "In answer to your question," he begins kindly, "No, he doesn't feel like that all the time."

His hand slides from my jaw to my brow. Smile tainted with sorrow, Vheenix tucks a few strands of hair gently behind my ear, "Just most of the time."

I close my eyes tightly remembering that burning guilt and sickening fear.

I turn my head a little leaning into the comfort of Vhee's touch. He wraps his arms around me without hesitation and hugs me firmly to him.

"Would you like to learn more about Koro?" comes his voice from somewhere over my head.

I nod, brushing my cheek against his chest. "I feel I must."

"Then let's begin your training."

-

We take a seat in a small empty conference room and into the silence Vheenix begins his lesson.

He fishes the yellow crayon out of his pocket and lays it on the desk. "You are telekinetic." he tells me, "You have the power to control objects using just the strength of your thoughts."

I let a small dribble of my power lift the crayon up into the air and slowly twirl it round and around as Vheenix speaks.

"There isn't much of a limit to your power once you set your mind to it. This crayon," he gestures to the spinning item, "this table, my body, your body. You can control anything. This also can include other agent's powers."

"Like Koro's?"

"Yes. Koro's power is in a different category to ours. Where ours is activated and regulated consciously by our mind, his is almost like a physical defect. His body produces heat far faster than it can be used up. His form has somewhat adapted to function with a higher temperature than normal."

I nod my understanding. Pyro-beams are excess heat. I spin the crayon a little faster.

"When Koro's power surfaced he became an Untouchable." Vhee goes on. "An agent who's power prevents them from direct human contact."

I found myself gazing at my hand. The hand that held Koro's so tightly.

"The heat inside him is forever growing stronger. It must be expelled regularly."

"Or else what?" My question sneaks out.

Vheenix kicks back in the chair, light frown tugging at his features. "At first it's just like any other person experiences with a fever. Head aches, nausea, blurred vision and dizzy spells." says Dr Vheenix, "But this quickly escalates. His body becomes so hot that the heat given off can cause everything within meters to smoulder. If left to continue, I imagine he'd just burn from the inside out." He flinches at the vulgar imagery he just provided me with. "Sorry."

I shrug a shoulder, willpower hard at work not creating a mental picture.

"Anyway," Vhee takes off again quickly, "To prevent this, Koro's body has a natural survival reflex. Almost like when there's dust in your nose and your body triggers a violent sneeze to remove it. You can't help it; it's an innate bodily function taking over. In Koro's case," Vhee stops talking suddenly to drum his fingertips on the tabletop tapping out an unfamiliar rhythm.

"What happens?" I push.

He stops tapping. "To prevent any physical damage occurring, when Koro's core temperature reaches a critical point, reflex kicks in and releases all of the contained heat in one savage blast." He lets this thought sit for a second.

I swallow with some difficultly, my throat seems constricted. "Sounds worse than a sneeze."

Vhee tilts his head hiding behind his long fringe. "It's much worse. It's an explosion of uncontrolled heat."

I want to ask how he knows all this but I'm too frightened of the answer. Before I work up the courage Vhee lifts his eyes to mine once more and continues with my education.

"Your power can manipulate Koro's heat as if it were a tangible object. You can control pyro-beams even draw the heat out of him and form beams yourself.'

"I can draw the heat out?" I meet Vheenix's eyes solidly. "And I can push it back in."

He nods. "You can will the heat to remain inside Koro when you touch him. Of course, you can't fully suspend it forever or else he would overheat and the afore mentioned situation would arise."

I cup all my gathered bravery. "It's happened before, hasn't it? Koro overheated."

There is silence as Vheenix studies me closely, perhaps wondering wether or not he should answer.

"You can tell me." I reassure him. "I won't regret it."

Vheenix plucks the crayon out of the air and replaces it in his pocket. "Yes." he says finally. "When he was young and his power first surfaced – he couldn't control it. Twice it reached the point of a complete purge of heat. Both times there were fatalities that were unavoidable."

Fatalities? As in deaths? People were caught in these explosions and were burnt alive?

I drop my head into my hands. I feel sick to my stomach.

Oh, Koro. Koro killed people.

"So," my voice shakes. "those emotions you showed me earlier, this is the cause?"

"No, not all of them…" I look up, Vheenix's face swims through my watery vision. He doesn't finish his statement but I remember the ending. Just most of them.

I heavily get to my feet. "I don't feel like training right now." I tell him dully. As I move past him he reaches for me and envelops me into another comforting hug. I throw my arms around him.

I recall what he said when he was infected with Koro's aura,

"It's Koro. It's too strong. I can feel him from here. He's so angry but suffering so, so much… It hurts."

I understand.

"Naku," says Vheenix, but I pay him no mind. I am caught up in the memory of Koro's emotions.

The guilt is like a constant ache. Despair so bitter and overpowering that I almost want to die.

Almost.

I can't die. I have no right. I must live as a tribute to those I killed. I must endure this pain, it is my punishment. I deserve it.

"Naku, stop it!"

I'm thrust away from Vheenix. I stare at him in shock. "Where am I?"

Vheenix is holding me at arms length, he looks quite upset. "Did you mean to do that?"

"What?" I feel rather disorientated, I'm glad he has his hands on my shoulders.

"You were absorbing my aura, you were using it to tap back into Koro's emotions."

"I was? I didn't mean to, I'm sorry!"

"I'd say that's enough training for one day." he chuckles nervously.

-

I crawled out of my clothes and into the shower. This is what I do when I've got heavy thoughts rolling around my head.

And, you know, also when I need to get clean.

I like to stand under the warm spray for hours focusing only on the sound of pouring water. Eventually, my inner monologue is drowned out and I achieve a kind of numb Zen state of mind.

This usually calms me down, but it turns out it's a lot easier to cleanse thoughts from a mind than emotions from a heart.

My poor heart.

Vheenix walked me to my room. As he left me at the door, he reminded me of the goodbye dinner at Zesrick's place tonight. I reached out with my power and brushed his aura before he vanished at the end of the hall.

Guilt.

He felt guilty that what he'd told me had upset me.

He felt really guilty that he'd broken a promise to Koro.

I let a few tears mix in with the water streaming over me. I don't think I can take much more of other people's guilt.