Summary- I have a complicated life, and things only get even more complicated by a caustic new neighbor and a strange public high school. To make matters worse, theres a school bully who has a crush on me, and... whats that? A fairy coming to protect me from a confused spider demon? So yeah... this year is going to be FUN!...

Warning- Slash and abuse. There is some drama in here so be warned. Generally, this story has a happy tone.Hope you like! And please, all reveiws are helpful, expecially contructive advise to improve. No beta, but I tried to revise some of it. Hope its not completely horrible. Enjoy!

Chapter 1- Crack on a stick

Ok, so this might be a bit of overkill but IM GOING TO EAT MY DAD! And no, I am not a cannibal or anything like that. Ew. No when I mean I'm going to eat my dad, I totally mean it figuratively. Besides, if your dad had awoken you by putting ice down your pants and then squeezing you to death you would totally want to eat him too. Especially since that would be the only thing you can do.

"Allen I love you! Please don't go to school!" My dad yelled into my neck. I could only try to breath through his shirt has his shoulder was pressing particularly hard against my face. That ice was still down my pants and so my dad shifted so it went… ehem, making me squeal. I pushed him and I onto the floor, trying to get the ice out of my pants. My dad watched amused.

"Allen, what have I told you about masturbating while I'm in the room?" My dad joked. I glared at him when I finally got the damn thing out of my pants.

"This is going in your morning orange juice," I threatened and made a mad dash out of my room. Dad was close on my heels and knocked me to the ground. He was grinning where as I was sulking.

"I think I should go with ice more often," My dad said thoughtfully. "You wake up faster and you're not as insane."

"If you do that again then I will stick this into your orange juice," I repeated menacingly. This had to take the taco with my dad's brilliant schemes in waking me up. It was bad enough I had to wake up in the shower with all of my clothes on, or have my dad bite my ear. I shouldn't go to bed worrying that ice will be put down my pants.

"All right, no ice down the pants," Dad agreed reluctantly. "But you better take a shower real quick before the hot water stops working again… or I flush the toilet."

I didn't need my dad to threaten me twice in the morning, so I got up off the floor and drudged to the bathroom. If your thinking this is a really weird dream then no, it isn't. I know this because if this was a dream, I guarantee that Hilary Clinton would be in it.

Yes this is my life, the life of Allen Summers. My dad is Jacob Summers but the way we live I could probably call him my delta brother or something. He's the frat boy who dumps water on my head and throws naked mannequins out my window. I'm totally not kidding about those things either. My mom doesn't live here, seeing as she ran off with some guy in Vegas. I have a brother but he's older and married. I don't get along with him nearly as much as I do with my dad.

So my life is cool and ok. I may not have a mom but my dad makes up for that with twice the presence. He's like a dad, mom and brother all at once. It's kinda scary because I'm seventeen and not supposed to get along with any of my parents. Ah well, screw social stereotypes. People like that can kiss my ass.

I took a shower and got dressed, brushing the snarls out of my hair in one clumsy motion. After recovering from falling on my face I got up and headed downstairs where my father had come down after his morning high. No he's not actually high, he's a morning person. That means when he wakes up sleep is like crack for him while the rest of us its opium.

"Hello sunshine," My dad smiles brightly. He knows this pisses me of so he does it. Stupid crack addict. "Ready to sparkle and meet the day?"

"I'm adopted, I know I am," I thought out loud to myself. It wasn't crazy to think this. My dad and I hardly looked anything alike. He had short black hair, piercing crystal blue eyes and was considered by many of the women he worked with to be handsome. I on the other hand was considered to look like a girl. I didn't blame people who thought this though because I had red shoulder length hair and was relatively very skinny. It was good this way though because girls wouldn't hit on me, and guys usually knew right away that I was a guy, unless they were really stupid.

"Ready for your big day at your new school?" Dad interrupted my thoughts. I poured a bowl of cocoa puffs and groaned.

"You had to remind me didn't you?" It was true I was going to a new school. Not because I moved but because I was kicked out of the other one. Truthfully I was relieved, because that was a school my mom had chosen for me because it was all prestigious and shit. The one I was about to go was a lot closer and more main stream. Still it meant I had to go to some weird place and start all over and I had never been good with making friends at my school.

"Oh, c'mon its not that bad Allen. I'm sure everyone there will love you."

"Dad I don't want people to love me. That's just creepy."

"You know what I mean."

A roll of the eyes and then, "Yeah right. I bet I'm going to get shit today about how I look like a girl."

"Don't be ridiculous Allen. You do not look like a girl." My dad said firmly. I rolled my eyes again. He was obviously in denial.

"Speaking of denial, don't you have an appointment with a psychologist?" I ask with a mouth full of cereal. My dad ignores the comment at the beginning.

"Yes but I have to see you off to school don't I?" He says and grins at me.

"Or what? The world will explode?"

"Mine will."

I gave a weak smile. "Dad you're way to dependant on me. What are you going to do when I leave?"

"Lock you in your room and make you marry the next door neighbors cat."

"Ahh, right. I almost forgot why you were going to a psychiatrist. You know, in between telling me I was drinking toilet water instead of blue Gatorade and the whole waking me up with a Hilary Clinton mask."

Dad smiled at me evilly. "Where did that mask go by the way?"

"I tied it down, danced naked around it, and burned it along with the virgin sacrifice."

"Allen what have I told you about dancing naked?" My dad asked with a note of sarcasm. "I will have none of that bohemian spirit under the same roof as a Hilary Clinton mask."

I snorted. "If that were true you would've made me take out my piercings or even cut my hair. But seriously why are you going to a shrink?"

"I thought since you won't one of us has to," My dad answered thoughtfully finishing off his cereal. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh so because I refused to be directly shrinked, your gonna psyche me out by extension?" Dad nodded. I grimaced. "Jacob your retarded."

Dad smiled. I hardly ever used his real name, only to convey a message. After I finished my cereal, Dad decided he hadn't done enough this morning and was almost pulling off my pants as I walked out the front door.

"No, Allen don't leave me! I'm your only father!" Dad said clinging to my legs. I pulled on my messengers back and stumbled to the front door.

"I hope so unless you have something to tell me," I mumbled. A hand hooked onto the belt loop of my jeans and pulled me back. I landed on my ass next to my dad, who lunged and hugged me. Oh shit, I forgot Dad gets needy when I don't hug him when I leave for school. Its his estrogen acting up I swear and sadly it only happens when I leave. When he leaves I'm lucky to have him murmur it as he passes my door.

"Are you done choking me?" I asked and Dad finally let up. He helped me up this time and led me to the door.

"Have a fun time at school," He smiled as I left. I gave him a faint 'whatever' and a smile as I left.

Finally out of my dad's evil clutches I made my way down the hall. My apartment complex isn't anything special but its home. Dad and I have lived here for years where as everyone around us constantly changed. Today was no different and it seemed we had a new tenant. There were boxes right outside the door, stacked up with words written on them. I just ignored them though and went on my way. No one exciting ever lived next to us. The most exciting it got around here was the cat lady who smelt of cabbage.

So I forwent the whole 'welcoming your neighbor to the neighborhood' thing and made my way downstairs, pulling out a hair tie as I did. I tied my now drying hair into a bun on the back of my head hoping it made me look less like a girl. If your curious as to why I don't cut my hair don't ask. It was possibly my passive aggressive way of pissing people off or a strange form of teenage rebellion. Why I couldn't be like normal kids and defy authority outright, I have no idea.

Coming down the stairs, I nearly ran into a box. "Hey watch it!" Scratch that, a box with legs. I moved out of the way and realized I had run into our neighbor, a twenty something guy carrying a box nearly his size. Oh, he was a 'young adult'. I hate those people.

"Sorry sir," I replied before dashing the hell out of there. Around my father, I cussed like a sailor with his foot shot with a harpoon gun, but around other adults I was a nun. Its not like I dislike old people, it just the easiest way for them not to get on you about stuff is to act polite and say less. Adults closer to my age on the other hand, didn't know what they wanted, so there was no way you could please them. Usually lack of communication led them to leave you alone so that's what I resolved to do.

Walking to my school was a breeze and actually quite nice, as I had never walked to school before. It was only five blocks away from my house so I was there in ten minutes and holy crap I was surprised.

This school was like a walking cliché. Seriously, there were 'groups' all around of different stereotypes. There was some kids burning something on the grass, fighting to put it out before the lawn caught on fire. Oh god, I'm like Lindsey Lohan – no I'm exactly like Lindsey Lohan! I have red hair and grew up in the jungle… the urban jungle, but still! And I'm a junior and wearing something not very trendy. Oh I hope I don't end up dressing like a slut and get named prom queen or whatever. My dad would never let me live it down…

"Walk much spaz?" Said some black haired guy with a nose ring. He just ran into me and he calls me a spaz!? I was just standing here minding my own business… great what I really need is a bunch of dickheads this early in the morning.

Deciding I didn't need anyone else running into me, I stumbled into the school. The school itself actually wasn't that bad. It was a big three-story brick building with the words 'Go wolves' on a banner in the front. I was wondering what the hell kind of mascot wolves are for a city school when I made my way to the front office.

"Excuse me," I tried to get a secretary's attention. She was a plump woman with very red lipstick on her teeth. She smiled at me almost sickeningly sweet.

"Can I help ya hun?" She asked in a warm voice. I wasn't used to adults being this nice but I guess there had to be some other good ones besides my dad.

"I'm a new student here, and I need my schedule." The woman nodded and instantly materialized a piece of paper. I was thinking she was a magician as I took it.

"Alright, Here's your schedule. I would have someone show you around but they all seem to have disappeared on me," She sounded a bit bitter but I didn't ask about it.

After assuring the secretary I would be fine, I made my way to my first class.

Noon that day

Ok so teachers here are weird. At my old school, we were given a boring lecture, usually pertaining as to how boring the rest of the class would be. We were all expected to know that school wasn't a social gathering and that teachers deserved your respect no matter what. That last part pissed me off so I didn't really respect any of the teachers. I obeyed but did so grudgingly.

Here it was different. Teachers did something to earn my respect. My history teacher said right off the bat, "I don't take your shit, don't take mine deal?" And I'm pretty sure we're set. They also gave a quick syllabus saying we would have some fun if we did as we were told. After that we usually played some sort of game to break the ice. Me, being my usual self, stayed quiet and tried not to draw attention to myself.

Now it was noon, meaning lunch. I wasn't real hungry as none of the tables I looked at looked very inviting. I had only spoken to one person and that was because she needed a pencil, which she never gave back, stupid bitch. I should heckle her for that but that's not exactly making friends, is it? Instead I go out side and plant myself next to a barren tree, hoping for the day to go by faster.

Ok so it wasn't that bad of a day but it was still school. I hated school. They hardly ever told me anything I didn't already know about. Like health class for instance. There went a huge portion of my life. If I was ever going to ask for anything back it would be the hour I spend in their for eighty-six days.

Gyaa, I have company! Not really, there's just a bunch of people sitting behind me though. Well I could leave, but I was here first so… yeah. Lame I am I know. Its because of my dad. He made me like this.

"…Such a bitch, I wanted to smack that pretty little makeup right off her face," Came a girl's voice. Her voice pretty average sounding so I thought for the moment I'd call her Jane. Creepy, naming people I didn't know but hell, I would probably never talk to them so who cares?

"Ah, she just a lesbian in denial. Don't worry your pretty little head off," Came a guy's voice. He's name shall be Bob. "Maybe if you and Cherie didn't practically raped each other in the hallway, the girl would have never noticed you."

"I did not rape her," Said a light airy voice. I assumed that was Cherie so I'll just call her that. "You can't rape the willing."

There was laughter then, "Just because I whore myself out every so often doesn't mean you can take advantage of me!" Jane cried and their was more laughing.

"Hey speaking of whores, where's Jason?" Bob asked.

"Being a TA geek as usual." Jane said with a mouthful of… something. "Since he took that assistants job with the newspaper he's been on cloud nine knowing a bunch of shit we don't. Have you noticed how he looks as us funny every time he sees us?"

"Ah, well journalism was always his calling," Cherie reasoned lightly. "Even before the paper he could get anyone to say anything to him, and it usually was the truth. Jason is very perceptive."

"Doesn't mean he's not a git," Bob sighed and I realized he had a British accent. "Ahh and here comes the little fucker now."

"Hey guys," It was another voice, one Jason I presumed. Silence, then, "What the hell? When are you guys ever quiet?"

"When did you become such an asshole?" Bob said. I wondered briefly if this was how friends were supposed to talk to their friends.

"What? What did I do now?"

"That freakin paper your with. Now your always ignoring us," Jane said.

"Oh, sorry about that. You won't have to worry I quit." There was startled gasps.

"Man, just because I said that doesn't mean you should quit! You love the paper…"

"No I didn't quit because of what you said… though I would if you asked me to!" Jason answered hastily. "No I quit because the paper is a bunch of retards who don't do anything and take the credit for what I do. I figure I would start a blog or something and take all the credit for what I do."

"Good for you. As long as it makes you happy," Cherie encouraged in a warm voice.

"Yeah well I didn't leave without a little more information," Jason added. "Apparently there's a new kid in school – "

"Oh scary!" Jane remarked condescendingly. I felt my heart jump hoping against odds they weren't talking about me.

"Shut up, I'm not finished! Anyways, he used to go to a brain academy or something, but was expelled for getting into a fight. And not just any fight. This guy was in a three-day coma and woke up talking about demons and shit…"

There was silence. Silence. Silence. Still silence. Then, "Your making this up aren't you?" Jane asked in a devious tone.

"No I'm serious, that's what it said when I read his file," I could hear the pleading tone in Jason's voice.

"Well then we should stay away from him unless anyone doesn't think they don't have enough enemies at this school," Cherie suggested and there was anonymous agreement.

"But how are we going to know what he looks like?" Jane inquired.

"I don't know, there wasn't a picture."

Damn right there wasn't a picture! According to yearbooks I hadn't attended school since kindergarten.

"How many new guys are there do you think?" Bob sounded a little annoyed.

"Uh… one?" Jason answered a little stupidly.

"Right so if he's in our classes we should know," Bob practically rolled his eye in his voice.

"But what if we run into him in the hallways and we don't know any better?"

"Jason, you are not going to look for the new kid. You'll just bring trouble to yourself and us and we don't need that."

"All right fine, I'll be good this time," Jason and his group fell into silence. I wondered if the whole school knew about me when something else this troupe said caught my attention.

"For some reason, I feel like my name is Bob," Bob said and I covered my mouth to stop myself from cursing. Oh shit!

"Funny I felt like my name was Jane for a while," Jane added thoughtfully. Great, I can't believe I had done that! That was why I don't give names to random people! I began to mentally smack myself when the bell rang. Thank God! I picked up my bag and set off looking for fourth period.

And holy shit, someone must not like me because this teacher, Mr. Eckhart had to announce to the class that I'm new. Holy fuck!

"Why don't you tell us something about your self Allen?" Mr. Eckhart asked in a friendly tone. I knew he was trying to be nice but I really didn't want to tell a room full of strangers anything about myself.

I mused on telling people I'm gay, because that would be fun. I could tell them about the time my dad fell out of my window or when the wonderful story this morning and my contemplation on how to get my father back. Instead I just smirked mysteriously and said, "I like cake, sir."

Yeah, so I was forced to say something to an adult and I said the bare minimum. He seemed pleased, almost ready to burst out laughing. The class probably thought I was retarded, but then again this was and American Literature class.

"Thank you Allen, I have a feeling it will be a interesting class with you. You can take a seat in the back," Mr. Eckhart lightly pointed to a place on the side near the back. I noticed the students near there stiffen but ignored it.

So the class began in its usual pace. The teacher gave us a syllabus and lectured thoroughly through class. Fifteen minutes before it was over he was called and hurriedly left his desk, telling us to act like he adult he knew we were and behave. He smiled at us before he left and I thought that man was too nice to be a high school teacher.

As soon as Mr. Eckhart left, I really wished he hadn't. The entire class seemed to turn to me expecting something witty and cute. Puppies! That's cute but not exactly witty… ah shit I think I said that out loud because I'm getting the 'look' that says you're obviously crazy.

"What about puppies?" Some guy says. I recognize him from calling me a spaz this morning and he probably thinks I'm even more of a spaz now.

Nevertheless I smile and say; "They're cute. Don't you agree?"

Oh my god this is the most retarded conversation in the world. Good move Allen, why don't I just ask for crack now?! I just keep smiling, either because I'm crazy or because I'm about to burst out laughing.

"Aren't you the guy that's supposed to have nearly killed a guy?" Wow he was inquiring a lot and not even holding back. The rest of the class seemed to draw in a breath.

"Why yes, he choked on my hair. Now we can't stop laughing about it." The rest of the class didn't know if I was being serious or daring anyone to laugh. They all had it in their minds that I'm psychotic which isn't that far off the target but still.

"Are you retarded?" The guy asked. Suddenly I thought very highly of him, but I was still going to bite his nose off if he got any closer.

"Only on Sundays through Saturdays," Was my smart-ass reply. Before they could figure it out I added, "You know, I already know everyone here thinks I'm some killer psycho person. Is it really a smart move to ask killer psychos if their retarded?"

"No, its not," An awfully familiar voice said behind me. I turned and saw a girl looking amused between me and… puppy man. Eh… puppy man, sounds like a really bad super hero. Arg! Brain shut up! Chick-who-sits-behind me is talking!

"The only person who would start up a conversation like that is obviously looking for trouble aren't you Mitch?" The girl gave a toothy smile to the guy named Mitch. Ah hah! I remember where I've heard the girl. Its Jane!… or whatever her name is! Hurray Jane!

"Just being friendly unlike some people," Mitch replied. There was no Malice but obvious annoyance. Eh, friendly my ass! Wasn't this the guy who called me a spaz this morning? Maybe I should bite his nose off…

"Right because that's what your known for Mitch is friendliness," The girl rolled her eyes as she said with humor. What was this I sensed? Sexual tension?… "Now why don't you be a good little boy and go to your emo corner and cry."

"Maybe I want to talk to the new kid?" Oh I hope not, otherwise that would be a clear indication he was gay. Don't get me wrong I love gays, but I don't really like this guy.

"No you want to start a fight now go away." Mitch glared at the girl who smirked back. He took a step towards her, but was stopped by a shoe slamming on the side of my desk. I jumped back startled and looked at the owner of said boot. It was a blonde boy, who sounded an awful lot like…

"I believe she told you to go away." BOB! Yes this was Bob! Wow… these people really did travel in packs. I wonder if any of the other little voices were in her, but then again, what was the likeliness of them all having the same class together?

"I didn't know you were Karen's bitch, Ziek," Mitch taunted. So Ziek was Bob's real name and Karen Jane's. What the hell kind of name is Ziek anyway? Ah well, foreigners.

"Just because your foreign to the concept of friends doesn't make me her bitch," Bob – I mean Ziek said. It was amazing. These people were talking so harshly to one another but they did it with a grin in their tone. "Now back away Mitch, or we'll have the scary new resident psycho axe-murder you." He jerked his thumb at me and I just cracked a smile. They could call me whoever they wanted as long as they made this guy go away.

Luckily, Mr. Eckhart decided to come in at that moment, so we were spared further argument. My neighbors ignored me but to be fair, as soon as the bell rang I practically ran from the class room. I didn't want to give anyone a chance to give me a hard time.

The rest of the day went off without a hitch. I had Ziek and Karen in another class, but it was chemistry and they all ready were lab partners. I was partnered up with a timid looking chick named Samantha Everett. She was short, a tiny bit overweight, but overall, if she plucked her eyebrows, could be a very pretty girl. Man, I sounded so gay there. I should right that down and tell my father it later.

Finally school let out and I headed home. I guess it was a nice day, but I had a little bit of problems. I was in a new school and already I had let my guard down. I had nearly convinced two strangers their names were Bob and Jane. Yes, that was me who did it! Not some stupid leprachuan in the bush! I would've seen that one coming a mile a minute…

No, what I am I guess, the easiest way to put it is that I'm a muse… Ok stop laughing your asses off and yes, that's what I said a muse! M-U-S-E, as in those people who inspire and shit. I'm not really a greek myth, that's just a metaphor I used to describe myself. You see, I inspire things in people, whether it be my own thoughts or theirs. If I concentrate too much on something, it usually passes into their thoughts.

Think I'm crazy right? Well then explain me running away from demons, ancient gods, and creatures just because they wanted the inspiration to make their lives better? A bunch of witchy artist once came after me, just for inspiration for their 'artistic works'. It's a wonder that I am the way I am.

Luckily, I learned how to control my inspiration factor so demons no longer tried to kidnap me. No now, they tried to befriend me and offer me crap that I really don't want. Oh and FYI the people who dubbed me a muse was them, not me, so don't go thinking I'm full of myself or anything.

I stopped at a cross walk as the light turned red and waited patiently. Today really was beautiful, as the sun was shining brightly and the sky was a glorious blue. I was perfectly positioned in the shade by one of the trees that hung over me. It was a pretty oak with his branches hanging delicately along the sidewalk. One of the branches I had noticed had something shiny and me, being the loser that I am, had to check to see what the shiny thing was. From the intricately woven strands, I judged it was a spiders web but something else caught my eye as well.

Off to the left on the web was a purple and black butterfly, trying roughly to escape. Its wings seemed to flutter wearily and it stopped, seemingly tired. I felt a twinge of sympathy for the poor thing. I mean, butterflies only live for a few days right? And here was one going to spend its last few hours struggling before its eaten. Alright so I'm a big freakin' sap, but I'm not going to be able to walk away. So I gently tugged on the wings, pulling the little creature away from its prison. As soon as I released it, the thing fluttered off onto the sidewalk. I was sure it was going to go to JC Penny's to buy a dress, because that just seemed something a butterfly would do.

My light turned green, and I continued walking back towards my house. In my minds eye I could see the spider approaching its nest, seeing nothing there but I ignored it. I was sure the spider would get some other pray, and giving it no more thought, I finished my journey home.