The Tiring Vicious Cycle

Abstinence, is the only solution
For when I see it once more, touch it once more
And smell it another time – I taste it
Only craving more, cringing now that I'm all out
Wondering how I can steady myself
(Especially those shaky hands of mine)
To think up another plan to creep more of it in
As much as my hands can take
More and more then more and more
Nothing is enough
Nothing was enough (like our love)
Tried to fill myself with you –
To replace that emptiness n' lack of love
Not from you – but me
Tasted love and only wanted more
Pushing it away…
As it vanished completely all I wanted
Was complete paralize-ation, for I wanted to
Rid myself of knowledge from my actions
(unspoken love baby, you'll never hear)
I just wanted control (complete control)

By losing control