She was still gripping the cup, concentrating on her shaking to subside. She felt face turn into a grimace as it didn't. Was this real, or all just a horrible nightmare? She waited for the monster come and take the boy away from her, leaving her alone to suffer. Was the monster herself? She shuddered at the thought of that, but then concluded that would be more real than anything. The emotions increased inside.
Her hand itched toward the nurse button. She just wanted the drugs to make her better, or at least numb from this, again, so she could go back to her normal, stupid, and boring life. She sighed as she thought her annoying life, and having to see love and other equally sickening things throughout it. Her stomach lurched as she came to the conclusion that it would never be hers to hold.
Maybe that was why she wasn't allowed to see him clearly? She believed now that she didn't have much time with him, or that this was all fake. It was probably her punishment for hoping and always giving up, succumbing to the darkness quickly. Her faith was a yo-yo, and He was most likely fed up with her. The games would all make sense when she put it that way.
She blinked and tried to focus on the guy that was in the plastic chair beside her, but couldn't. She struggled with her words and she was frustrated beyond control. She tried to gesture something to him, and he smiled at her. She could tell that because his blur of a face was changed. There was a hole where the cut-out crescent was.
Anna had a sensation that she had seen him before and wanted to know where from. She couldn't imagine a boy ever wanting her, and keeping up with her. She was in a hospital, for goodness' sakes! Any guy that still thought of her positively, especially in this setting, was definitely worth trying out. She always wanted a boyfriend anyways, and here was someone that was offering it. Could she ever ask for more? Yeah, for it to be real, she thought.
Her heart jumped slightly when she thought about this, now even more set on trying to figure out who this truly was. And should she trust him? He wasn't creepy in any way, but she had a slight uneasy feeling when he was with her. Was it because of the way her heart just responded? She waited for his touch and none came. She was so cold now and she wanted his warm hand on hers.
She had a feeling that he didn't want to be known, and her vision was getting better by each hour. What would he do then? Would he leave her or come back? She had her chance and she couldn't talk. These things always happened to her, and with the wrong timing.
She was about to ask who he was again, when a knock on the door came. She saw him leave and a white blurry shape replaced him in the chair. It took her a while to connect that he was her doctor.
He waved and she just saw the movement. She shook her head, as if the sight in her would become miraculously clear again. She blinked harshly, trying to get the invisible shield off her eyes and failed. She must look silly to him and stopped the persistency. It was just so hard to deal with.
"Anna, I know you are still recovering, but I wanted to share the results with you. We got them in and I feel that you should have known as soon as possible.", he said, his voice calm, like he's done this many times before.
She noticed that there were no other blurred people in her room. Figures that my parents wouldn't care about me still, she thought miserably.
She cleared her throat and took a sip of water to ease the silence. "Well, what is it then?", she said, trying to be calmer than she felt. The atmosphere and the reaction of the guy before tensed her, and she didn't know what to expect. Anna waited for his response patiently for the worst. She closed her eyes, making herself think happy thoughts, but she really couldn't remember anything from recent time and sighed.
A rectangle brown blob came into view and he tapped his pen impatiently now. He sighed, and she assumed that he was trying to think of how to phrase it. The echoes of the pen were annoying and she wanted to tell him to stop. She bit her lip and hesitated. She held back the screams, for many reasons, and tangled her fingers in her hair nervously. His voice was doing the opposite.
Anna heard him take a deep breath and say the words that would define her forever.
"You have diabetes type one."