A/N: Okay, I don't really think that all cheerleaders are like this. It's just a stereotype thing that I made up one night when I was stuck in Wal-Mart with my mom after the car broke down. I repeat, I don't really think that all cheerleaders are like this. If I get any flames, I'm going to punch you in the face for being an idiot.

When I Become A Cheerleader

When I become a cheerleader I'll flick my bimbo Barbie blonde hair over my shoulder and sneer at all the losers behind me. I'll run my hand up the grotesquely, thick arm muscles of my quarter-back boyfriend watching as the untouched freaks go green with envy and red with jealously. I'll play with his hair and tease him with my body until his face is flushed with the heat of it all. Then I'll pull away, telling him he should behave in public.

When I become a cheerleader I'll wear a flared out pink shirt so incredibly short that only the leggings underneath make it decent in public and thinking that four inches of skirt is far too long. With pink stilettos and a skin tight matching tank top that will make even my anorexic thin body look plump. My favorite color will be pink and I'll try to pass a school rule that outlaws the wearing of black because the color makes me sad.

When I become a cheerleader I'll get drunk and high every weekend, screwing a different guy every time but still saying I love my boyfriend, he just doesn't give me what I need. Then during school I'll bat my baby blues at the closest geek so that he'll let me cheat off his test while the hang over threatens to make me spew red, white, and blue.

When I become a cheerleader I'll smile sweetly to the teachers then turn around and smirk at the smart kids who have to work for what I get for free.

When I become a cheerleader I'll have a C average and college won't even be part of my future plans. The only future that I will ever think of is possibly being one of the cheerleaders from Texas or the trophy wife of a ninety year old billionaire with an attractive son older then me that I screw regularly.

When I become a cheerleader I'll think that on my sixteenth birthday when I kicked my parents out of their own house so that I could throw the wildest party then made them clean up after everyone left was a fond memory. I'll drive my canary yellow BMW to school and complain that I didn't want this car but the 15 grand red Jaguar. And I'll say that my parents are so unfair because they didn't get it for me.

When I become a cheerleader I will never have to work and I will never be told no. I'll have all the money in the world and I will always be happy no matter it costs other people.

When I become a cheerleader my room will be bright and never dark in any sense of the word. Also, I will think spiders are disgusting, terrifying things that should never have been created and deserve to die terrible, burning deaths.

When I become a cheerleader I'll have mountains on top of mountains of clothes that are only the latest fashion, costing about 150 bucks a shirt, but I only wear once before deciding that everyone has it and I simply can not be seen in it.

When I become a cheerleader I'll look at the pictures of children in third world countries and think, 'That's so sad! Why can't I be that thin?' Then go throw up in the bathroom, forcing some annoying bitch that wants to be like me hold my hair back.

When I become a cheerleader I'll think only of myself and have a million friends that don't really care about me.

When I become a cheerleader I'll be the center of attention in slutty clothes.

Thank god I'll never become a cheerleader.