Weather Report

From the perspective of one who does not know her, on first glance, she would seem intense: intensely distracted, intensely sociable, intensely self-deprecating, intensely spontaneous, intensely intense. Like most real people, she is a study of contrasts and contradictions, a paradox that holds true somehow. It is all in context. Her eyes are the color of the sea, somehow green, grey, and blue all at once and their expression is every bit as temperamental. Sometimes they seem predominately blue and iced-over, buried inward, and she is far away within herself and has not heard a word of the conversation. Then other times they sparkle like water hit by the sun, and it is almost as if one can see a boat and water-skiers shooting, laughing and speeding, carefree through her eyes. However, when her eyes are torn apart by waves of inward motion and emotion, meeting them would be like coming to meet a hurricane. She hates you, or someone else, or herself, or the world, or all of the above, and she will not let anyone talk her out of it until the gale blows over. When the waters are level, she is either completely serene or utterly bored, depending on the light she is portrayed in. She has prominent cheekbones and a stubborn straight nose. Her forehead constantly creases unconsciously, and she looks like she is thinking. Then, she will go to a party and make-up, the great equivocator, evens out her intense features, and she looks like she is not thinking. It may seem odd that her characteristics can be so intensely different, but both halves of the paradox make a complete Anne.

She has lived in the same house for fourteen years and has only ever been on a plane once when she went to visit her older sister and baby niece in Spain. She typically does not get along with her mom because she feels they are so different. However, the real reason they do not get along is probably what they do have in common: their stubbornness. She occasionally complains that her younger sister is annoying, but in a small way, she is happy to complain. For one thing, she enjoys complaining, and for another, she is happy to be the older, wiser, and thus more fashionable sister for once. She loves to watch television, collect stories of the supernatural, and read fantasy novels because she has a prodigious imagination. Constant realism is exhausting. She likes believing there is something other than the mundane and the routine. She expresses herself by singing. When she sings, she is smiling a bit inside the corners of her open mouth. And she is frowning the deepest ever, which means she is thinking the hardest and feeling the most intensely.

She typically explains herself based on her paradoxical diagnosis of ADD and depression, but she is not her diagnosis. She claims she physically cannot cry when she is on her antidepressants, but truly, it takes a lot to really upset her. Even when she is really upset, she prefers to be a bit private about it, unless she badly needs a shoulder to cry on. She hates the question, "Are you okay?" because it is always obvious whether she is okay or not. When she is silly and spontaneous, she cites her ADD, but this is only a way of giving herself less credit for being fun and, when she is driving, often downright dangerous to be around. She is about as subtle as a blunt axe and almost always says exactly what she means. Most of the time, she does not even realize she is being blunt; she just knows that someone asked her opinion, and the dress did make her look fat. So unfortunately, she is often too hard on herself and always a lot harder on herself than on others. She does not think she is intelligent because she typically does not do well in school. However, she is; she is just also habitually messy. Her thoughts, like the rest of her, simply do not come out organized into three body paragraphs and a thesis. She is a little insecure, like anyone, and likes to be liked. She loves the attention of boys, mostly because getting it seems a unique challenge, and when she gets it, it is an indication that she must be worthy if someone else notices. Sometimes she worries that she acted a bit ridiculous to get attention, and this is the balancing act that keeps her true to herself. She is herself, but she is still in the process of understanding exactly what that means and fully embracing every quirk and contradiction.

She tries to please other people because she wants to get a clearer idea of who she is through their perspective, and it cannot hurt to have them think well of her. She does not consciously ingratiate or compromise, but she likes to make people like her, if she can help it. However, if they cannot handle her directness and her intensity, they are lost causes, and she will not try to find them again. She aspires to have a family because if she likes to be liked, then she loves to be loved. She treasures the idea of having someone who constantly believes she is beautiful to convince her on days when she is not quite sure. When her eyes laugh like the frothy foam of the sea on a clear day, he will laugh along like the breeze. And when the weather report on her face is promising storms, he will order in a pizza and a movie and never once ask, "Are you okay?"