It was mid-summer as I looked up at the cloudy sky. The sun shone brightly in between the puffs of fluff. I heard the sprinkler in the background and my sister's laughter filled the air. I smiled to myself. It was a beautiful day. But no matter how much I smiled, it was obvious I wasn't truly happy. My family realized it. My friends knew. I was always somewhat distant from everyone. Maybe it was just my obliviousness to the world around me. My day dreamy nature. Reality was always crueler than dreams. I've always thought that.

I heard a truck drive down the street, heading toward the house next door. 'New neighbors.' I thought. I smelled my mother baking something in the kitchen. Brownies or cookies, maybe a cake. Whatever it was, I knew it would be delicious. The warmth of the sun beat down on me before a cloud passed between us. The hard ground beneath me, the bright sky above, it was all somewhat…nostalgic. As if I had been here before. Déjà vu, probably. A dream, possible. Reality? Maybe.

I closed my eyes and soon heard my sister run over to me.

"Sissy! I found honeysuckle!" She squealed in her girlish voice. "Have some!" I smiled up at her, a somewhat sad smile. She sensed my struggle to form it, set it beside me and ran back to the sprinkler. I rolled to look at the flowers. They were yellow, mostly, but a few white ones were interspersed. I pulled one off of the twig and pulled the bottom out. Then I tasted the sweetness. I remembered hunting for honeysuckle when I was younger and more naïve. I missed those days. When the worst thing was a scraped knee that was soon made better by a kiss from mommy. But those days are often taken for granted. I didn't realize how precious they were until they were gone. As do most people, I think. Does the past really matter so much though? To some, it does, to others, not so much. To me? I lived in the past. It was a dream and reality all in one. It seems so far now, and at the same time, it wasn't as long ago as it feels. Or maybe those were memories from a dream. Maybe they were just vivid dreams I had and didn't realize it.

The wind blew and my hair flew into my face. I brushed it back. My mind was no longer in this time, but in my memories and my dreams. Which were which, I failed to determine. It didn't matter to me. All that mattered was that I was back in that place, where neither life nor death mattered. Where I was happy and my existence wasn't passing me by. Where I actually had something that mattered to me, or rather, someone. Someone to love. Someone I would die to see again, if only for a glimpse of his face. A tear escaped my eye and slowly, I drifted to my dreams.

A/N: Two titles, which do you like?

Death Wish


Grim Decision

Review Replies:

Blood silhouette: I'm really bad at grammar, but I am trying! I'll probably do significant editing once it's completely done. Unless someone wants to do it for me. I know it's somewhat of a review, but I needed to do that for the third chapter because of what happens. It's a bit confusing, but again, I'll go in and edit it once I've finished it.

And to everyone else: I wanted to get it done by the 16th…but I don't see that happening. School is taking up my priority right now and the only real reason for this update is because I want to give a sample of my writing to my English teacher and have his feedback and this story made the cut. ANYWAY, I'll re-schedule the deadline, and it WILL stick this time. If not, feel free to throw random virtual objects at me. ;)

See ya next chappie guys, and thanks for putting up with my lazy ass.