The cars passing by
On my window pane
While I am coming home
Are moving slower than my thoughts
Of this brokenness
Another encounter with the devil
Another broken promise
An empty lie
((an unreal trust.))
I once slept in your trust
And blanketed myself with your promises
Now the cross you gave me
Is polished with our secrets
((the ones that I spilled with the pills))
Hunny, as much as you hate me
I loathe with a passion that burns more fervorously
Than my love ever had
It's the flame that eats away at me
And the flame that makes me tremble in your presence
The flame that makes me count my breath
So you don't receive a little "love" from my palm
Now you think you're cool
You are sulking
You are making your whole family miserable
to the point
that the only one who cares that you want to move with your abusive father
is the one that gave birth to you
and you don't realize that in your lies,
pretending nothing ever happened
((which again, you are so wonderful at))
you are hurting your own family
Do you think your pride will change anything?
Or your rebellion?
Do you think molesting the girls that you "love"
Is really going to help you gain it?
Do you think hitting your little sister
Is really going to make you feel buff?
Get over yourself.
I was s.h.o.c.k.e.d. to find out how wrong I was about you
I knew when you touched me you had issues
But not until I let your secret loose
Did I see your true color
You are not the sky's blue
You are the gray
And no wonder why your favorite color is green
That too is one of your colors
Curse and think you're cool
Hurt me and her
And think you are bad
Hit your sister
And don't care
But don't expect God to blow you kisses in return
One day your luck will turn to ashes
And you will be broken enough
That you will be on the floor out cold
And at that point,
It'll be beyond you.
It'll be God's choice.
You showed me this person who loved children
Who was sweet
And loved the Lord.
But now I see your lies,
And all of the rest of the crap
That I never knew
And I am sad for you
My heart has been crying for your redemption for awhile
And it still is…
As soon as I get over my new knowledge.
I actually defended you
After you hurt me
Then I took my friend
And your sister's side.
I believe your brother,
They were right
I was wrong.
You have a lot of issues
You need a lot of work
And it was your loss