Healed

If only you knew
My chapped lips had been on purpose
And my cold was God's way of protecting me
If only you knew
That my cough was for your ignorance
And it was supposed to be contagious
((maybe it would have made you stop))
Now I overdose on that chap stick
And drink down the cough syrup without worry
((I want to be healed))
I don't need to hide behind imperfections
Hoping that they'll keep you away
B/e/a/u/t/i/f/u/l/
I can be
Once I am finally
((whole))
a.g.a.i.n.
Right now I am still healing
My perfectly chapped lips and sugar coated
Promises that were never meant to be so
b.r.ok.e.n. by you and your life
broken bones can heal
and words can be forgotten
but a heart beat that stops
can not be resuscitated.
A heart that is bruised is pretty much
Gone and counted as empty.
Because when it is bruised it can't
Work right. Or at all
So just be glad it's my lips that are chapped
And my skin that was broken
By you
Otherwise paint your smile on
Because after commiting murder
By running your knife through someone's heart
Your smile will never be real again.
My friends too were wrong
Band-aids can't heal broken hearts
Or scars
Neither can maybelline cover up, blush
Or pretending the marks aren't there
((You were all so wrong.))
But even so
I will be healed
I have my astringent for my face
Chap stick for my lips
And syrup for my cold
I have carrots for my eyes
And my Bible for my mind
((and to fill my heart up with truth))
My beauty will be found in the journey
Despite blisters
And scorched skin
Despite struggles on the outside
And conflicts from within
Despite you
And the crap I did to myself
Because of you
Because I loved you
And at the same time repelled you
Because I wanted to be perfect
But yet, so imperfect
that no one would like me
((because without anyone
No one can hurt you))
But I am moving on
And will be healed
Despite you,
I will still l.i.v.e.
((even if I die trying.))