"I love you," I silently screamed as I closed your car door, knowing it would probably be the last time I saw you for a very long time. You'd been through a lot with me, but not so much lately. I knew we had drifted apart, and I hated it.
I knew it was a mistake to invite you to my house three weeks ago. I knew it was a mistake to even think about getting so close to you. We got so close. I'm glad we didn't go through with it. It would have ruined us more than the event already had. That's what drove us apart isn't it, my pathetic attraction to you? We could never be just friends. There was too much tension for that from the beginning.
And now you are leaving. I never even really said good-bye. Now I don't think I'll get a chance. You're too busy for me. You have been all summer. I became too dependent on you, so you cut me loose, caring more for those other friends of yours than me. I guess I'll never find out if you ever realized how much you mean to me. You were the one that kept me going. I have to find something new now.
Somehow when I handed you your birthday card two weeks late and watched you drive away, I knew everything with us was over. And my heart broke once again because of you. My heart is breaking all over again just thinking about all of this.
All the things I ever wished we were and still we ended up nothing. I could never be what you were for me, though I yearned for even half that.
As much as I've tried to put off thinking about you leaving, now it's forced into my face. It hurts to think of time moving on. I know there will be times when you come and visit your old band, old friends. But what about when it's too late for that? What happens after college when there's no excuse for our paths to meet?
Will we still talk on AIM and other websites, or will our friendship be ended forever? I don't think it's strong enough to continue on its own. I'm afraid that one day the only thing I'll have left of you is a few memories and a lame quirky little signature on the front page of my sophomore yearbook.
All I can think of now is how I might not get a chance to say good-bye, and how I should have asked for a hug that last time I saw you.
Did you know that you're the only person besides me that can make me cry? You're also the only person that I've trusted enough to cry in front of. You were so important to me…
But now I have to move on. I guess that's what this is for: moving on, letting go. No matter how much I want to cling to you and beg you to stay, I know that I can't.
And so now it ends. This is my final good-bye to you.
I hope I can forget you if we never meet again.