Even If

Even if I raise fists to the skies -
Shout curses in bitterness and grit teeth in rage.

I tell you - nothing will change you.
Nothing will make you want me.

Not the hours I spent -
Enveloped in thoughts of you.
Not the declaration I made -
Telling you that you are all I need.
Not the verses I write -
Sugarcoating lines for you over and over again.

So please, if not yours then mine.
Give me back my life.
Take away my desire to move and want you.

Because I can't continue -
Moving in circles and contradictions.
I can't continue living in such a shallow, unneeded manner.

Because even if I give you my all -
In both heart and soul, and conform to your needs.
I fear that it would not change a single thing.