held high

there's something about the way you place your hand on my arm
gently, tracing my heart tattoo just above the scars
that makes me feel like this could be happily forever after.
i can feel your heartbeat through your thumb
and i smile a little-

i cant believe i thought that i could live without
you there to help me, lift me, l o v e me.
i had pretended for so long that you were bad for me
but no-no. you never intended to hurt me
it was my own fault, the way i
pushed you far.ther and
far.ther away

but you never strayed too far
only far enough to teach me how to grow up
and get over fuckups

i know i hurt you,
hurt you! but-
i just hope that
apologies from me
will stop coming a
dime a dozen and
i'll learn how to
accept my behavior
as well as you have