Her eyes slowly flickered open as she lie there frozen on the soft, and comfortable bed. She turned to the left to look at the time on her alarm clock, which had been placed on her nightstand. 5:27AM was what it read that early morning. Her eyes darted from the clock over to the picture frame that stood next to it.
It was a photograph of two beautiful women who were madly in love with one another. On the right was the woman and to her right was her beloved wife, Kayla. The wife's arm was wrapped around the woman's waist who had her head rested on Kayla's shoulder. The two smiled naturally as they froze in time.
The woman smiled at the burgundy wooden frame and for a second. Just one. She was happy, as her heart skipped a beat and the fire within her heart flared brightly, igniting itself once again.
"Kay, you wouldn't believe what a horrible dream I had. I dreamt that you-" the woman's head slowly turned to the right side of the bed, only to find it empty and untouched.
Her eyes filled with tears and she covered her face, "This is not happening… It can't. Kayla … not my Kayla. She must be late. That's all. Late," She sniffled and wiped her tears away, "I just had a nightmare. Everything's okay… I'll be okay. My wife's coming home and when she does, I'll tell her all about it."
She looked up at the ceiling; her eyes wide open as her mind tried to process what had happened. She could see the shape of Kayla moving across the room, changing her clothes. She felt anger surge through her body. It was their anniversary and Kayla had to do night shift. They had hardly spent any time together that entire day because Kayla had gone to bed early so she wouldn't be tired at work.
"Baby, I'm sorry…" Kayla whispered to her as the woman rolled over, not wanting to look at her.
She didn't answer.
"I promise I'll make it up to you," she kissed the side of the woman's cheek gently, "I have to get going now, I'm running late. I love you, beautiful."
The woman heard the door close and lock as she grumpily stared at the stupid alarm clock. It read 10:30PM. She glanced over at the drawers and saw that Kayla's gun was still sitting on it. She thought about calling Kayla and telling her but she rethought the idea and rolled her eyes. Her reasoning was that her wife was so obsessed with her work she most likely had a few other guns somewhere. Who knew… everything Kayla did was top secret and she was never allowed to talk about it, for it would enter the two women into dangerous waters.
Kayla was twenty-six years of age and she worked undercover for a government-funded program. That was all there was to her. Well… that was all everyone close to her knew… and the only one close to her was her wife. Of course her wife didn't mind not knowing because she had been explained to many times about how risky life would be if she did know.
The woman's thoughts broke and she closed her eyes to try not to think about what she had heard on the other end of her home phone. Just a few hours ago…
"Hello?" she muttered into the receiver, half sleeping still…
"Ms. Reltic?" said the raspy voice on the other end.
"Yes, this is her," The woman answered, getting out of the cocoon she wrapped herself in.
"My name is Brent Connard and I'm sorry to inform you that… Ms. Kayla Reltic has been in an accident," he muttered the end of his sentence.
The woman's eyes widened and her heart raced even faster than her mind. Brent Connard was the man who assigned Kayla all of her missions. Her throat tightened.
"…Where is she? I want to talk to her."
"I'm afraid that's not possible Ms. Reltic…" he responded.
"What do you mean not possible? I want to talk to my wife! Where is she right now? Is she at a hospital? What happened?" the woman began to panic as tears threatened to roll down her eyes.
"She was KIA… Killed In Action. For some reason she didn't have a weapon other than her nightstick on her. That's all the information we can provide you for now Ms. Reltic."
"Where is she?!" the woman had now lost the little self control she had left in her, "Where the fuck is Kayla?!"
"We can't let you see her body yet… We need to send it to the forensics and investigate more into her death and the crime scene. All of this just happened an hour ago."
"I want to see Kayla."
"I'm afraid we can't-" the woman had slammed the receiver down.
Tears were now flowing down from her eyes again. Her eyes were puffy and red. Her nose was clogged and all she wanted to do was to see Kayla. She felt horrible and she had thrown up a few times in despite of being heartbroken.
She hadn't even told Kayla that she loved her back before her wife left. She wished now, more than ever that she had the chance to say that… She had the chance to, but didn't and now it was too late.
She felt that it had all been her fault that her wife died that night. She had been an asshole and didn't call her… She caused her own wife to die out of her own arrogance. Kayla didn't deserve to die… Kayla wouldn't even have died if it weren't for her.
The woman looked into the mirror that was attached to the drawer. The gun was still there… untouched and loaded. The woman stared at her own appearance. She hated herself. She killed her own lover, her everything and yet, here she was. Alive.
"I need to be with her," she whispered to her reflection as she picked up the loaded gun.
It felt cold against her skin, but at the same time… pleasant. She glanced at the clock, which now read 6:31AM.
When Kayla died, her heart died. Though Kayla wasn't completely dead, for her heart was still beating in the woman's chest. Kayla was always the stronger one out of the two… She would know what to do. But she was no longer there.
The dried streams of tears were no longer running down her cheeks. She positioned the gun to be aimed directly at her heart. She stared into her own eyes. She wished they had been her lovers' eyes… they were always so bright and full of love. Love… She'd never be able to love again. For she only had one love. That love was now gone.
Kayla wouldn't have wanted her to do such a thing… She knew. She'd be disappointed in her. She would. Maybe she was watching over her right now. Kayla would have wanted her to wash away the guilt and let her live. But was life worth living without Kayla? She knew the answer.
She was calm as her thumb pressed the trigger.
The very weapon that could have saved Kayla's life was now saving hers. She felt the blood pour out of her chest and she smiled.
"Kayla," Her last word echoed through the room as she began to fall to the ground.
She was falling to her death. Though to her, she was falling into Kayla's embrace… forever.