i have this new love, named Haemon.
he calls me Darling and holds me
closely as if i am his dear Life herself.
we met at a masquerade. while he
danced with the beautiful princess,
i sat outside, poised on a parapet
contemplating how far i might fall,
curious about the meaning of it all.
when he saw me there, at the end
of the night, he promptly proposed
and I accepted, composed,
as unsurprised as always.
"I didn't need to see your face,"
he said. "I fell in love
with your eyes." my sad eyes
that he says are wise and sweet and strong.
last night i buried one of the brothers i barely knew.
i do not believe in ritual or superstition but
with this forbidden gesture, i accepted death---
demanded it as my destiny after i was arrested.
there was yelling and weeping and pleading all around.
"Uncle, you must kill me. I know you must."
i practically begged him. let me have my purpose, please.
"this is not-is not-your purpose. antigone…damn it, listen to me!"
but i would not, caught up in the exhilaration of my certainty.
i was so convicted---
standing on my own, no longer conflicted
about the woman I must become.
I am already Her, this final girl
who knots her robe around her neck,
resigned and afraid. Now
all I can think is---
I am sorry about our son.