You thought you were so grown up,
dying your hair, living with a man,
getting drunk and messing around
with his best mate.
You thought you were the only one
who was hurting inside.
You did so much harm to yourself.
Outside, with knives and starvation,
and blocking out the hunger with some blood.
You thought it might give people
a reason to care about you.
Why would they otherwise?
Full of big ideas
but no motivation.
Tears always at the ready,
Anything for pity, for an excuse,
or to make him forgive you
or for lying.
You thought playing adults would be easy,
Weren't prepared for failure.
to back down in case they said
I Told You So.
Feet first, too deep.
Though five years later,
parts of you still linger,
I'm glad I'm not you anymore.