California Dreamin'

The night before leader training, Sean puts me to bed

as if I'm his baby, playing Tupac lullabies and stroking my hair

as the sun starts to rise (and I know I'll be waking up in four hours).

And in bed I was just dreaming of California love

for four hours of nothing while the road passed me by

and my eyes turned bloodshot from the wind

(he's a reckless driver in this expensive car).

My retinas are echoing and I

dreamed I could buy my way to heaven;

when I awoke I spent that on a necklace

I told God I'd be back in a second,

man, it's so hard not to act reckless.

It's heaven until that slippery bottle crashes

out the car window onto the floor by the bed and I've got

no more words tipping out of my lips:

I choke on my necklace and it's cold.

In the morning my ankle is still slashed

as if I'm Achilles and not his stupid girlfriend

(as if I'm stupid enough to sleep in a bed with a stranger

and fall asleep to the sound of the glory)

because no,

I can't study war the night before leader training.

I've got four hours to dream of a future

without heaven or California (because neither one is

quite like home). He says, oh, I'll take you to the glory

but no, I can't study war.

I realize, I drink, I'm gone, he can sleep to this noise

but all I can do is live it through bloodshot eyes and

I'd love to go back to when we played as kids,

but things change, and that's the way it is.

I dream awake and it's daring to dream out loud that keeps me

going loud like this music running through echoing ears,

God gives me one last chance but

some things never change. (I gotta get paid).

Songs (italicized text):

"California Love" : Tupac Shakur feat. Dr. Dre

"Can't Tell Me Nothin'" : Kanye West

"The Glory" : Kanye West

"Changes" : Tupac Shakur