A Mask Masquerading As A Mask

by, Cassandra

Being myself, pretending to be someone else pretending to be me. It's twisted, indeed. This isn't just a mask, it's a mask pretending to be a different mask. How could anyone ever understand who I am when I'm pretending to be someone else, while all along being me? Maybe I'm digging too deep, or maybe I'm not digging deep enough. But either way this isn't what I expected when I started searching for myself. You'd think you'd be someone different then who you think you are, but can you be the person you see without going any deeper? Is it possible that I just made up this other could-be-me so that I wouldn't have to face the real me, who is exactly who I see when I look into the mirror? I thought that there had to be something more underneath the skin, because this skin isn't who I want to be. But maybe, just maybe, I've been pulling the wool over my own eyes this whole time. There's no "other side". There's no "hidden me". No secrets that I'm waiting for the world it see. And most of all, most importantly of all, there's no fucking backbone. That girl is just a figment of my own imagination. And honestly? That fucking sucks.