It's starting to come into focus. I think I can say I know more now than I used to, but that's always a dangerous trap just waiting to catch me. I know something. About life. About me. About the possibilities in the air around me. And it hurts. It hurts. But it could be good, I think, once I get past the "oh dear god, just kill me now" aspects of it. It's growth in the purest form and that's never quick and painless. It's the aching stretch of skin and bone as you begin to learn how to define your very core of being. It's standing against the fire and feeling all the negativity burn away. It hurts. Oh fuck, does it hurt. But it could be good, I think. I just got to get through it first.