loss

i remember when my sun-
warmed hands used to slip,
brown and small, freely
through your hair.

my fingers would curl at the nape of your neck
as i pressed my lips softly against your throat,
melding myself wholly to you,

and i would whisper of how amusing it was,
how my arms could embrace

the entire world.

my hands would explore the dips and hollows,
the lees and plains of your latitudes and longitudes,
and i would close my eyes,
memorizing the contours of your body.

but the absence of your warmth
wrapping around me,
nestling between my legs

is ripping apart the maps faster
than i can piece the fragments together.

i always depended on you
to show me the way back to myself,
back to the way i was

but nothing can change the fact that
i am lost.

the memories keep slipping through my
fingers, which once loved
to stroke your hair, your skin, every part of you.

it's time and i'm,
time is passing and i'm,
i am, my hands are betraying me,
mapping the landscapes of another.