"How are you feeling?" a female voice asked formally and Victor squinted at the form hoovering over him.
"My head-" Victor groaned. "What happened?"
"You got into a fight on your way home to your boyfriend. He got worried when you didn't show up and went to look for you. He brought you here, unconcious," the woman, who evidently was a nurse, told him with a monotonous voice. In the back of his mind, Victor knew she had been told a lie, and he was being told one in return, but he was too busy aching to think any further about it. "You'll be fine. It's just a concussion, just get a lot of rest. Your boyfriend said he'd like to take you home as soon as possible so you're free to go."
"Are you okay?"
Victor glanced towards the voice to see Angel walk into the room, apathetic look plastered on his face. With a few steps he stood beside the bed and pressed a soft kiss against the younger boy's forehead. Just for show, Victor realised.
"Mhm." Victor said quietly. He could still almost feel the impact of Angel's fist against his head.
"Good. Let's get you home."
Five minutes later, Victor was being led down to Angel's car on the parkinglot, and the hand on the small of his back seemed to burn him.
"I thought you hated me now." Victor said quietly as they got into the car.
Angel stared at Victor, looking almost insulted. "I don't hate you. I love you."
"But I betrayed you, you should hate me."
"You won't betray me again. I'll make sure of that."
Victor glanced at him in disbelief and hope. "You won't break up with me?"
"You're mine. You belong to me. I won't let you go that easy."
With that, Angel started the engine and drove out of the parkinglot and Victor stared at him with a thumping heart. That was the exact same thing Angel's brother had said. 'You belong to me'. Fuck, the two of them were twisted. The thought left a sick taste in his mouth.
"How angry are you?" Victor asked carefully. He'd already noticed that Angel was clasping the steering wheel hard enough to break it, but he needed to ask. He needed to know what was coming.
Angel glanced at him quickly but he wasn't about to answer, instead he countered with a question of his own. "Why did you do it? Wasn't I enough? You were a fucking virgin when I met you and now... those fucking marks..."
"I love you, Angel, I swear. I don't want anyone but you. I tried to say no, Angel." Victor said quietly, pleadingly. He was almost truthful. That first time with Tristan, he had said no at first but then given in, the other times, he was more than willing. Angel gave him a look that seemed to scream 'liar' at him. Victor's hands were shaking, tensing up his body. He was afraid. He was afraid of Angel and what he might do. He was acting too calm right now
"Angel, what can I do to prove that I love you? What can I do to make you believe me? Angel?"
"I told you to stop saying my name." Angel hissed and Victor flinched back as if hit. Victor didn't dare say anything else. They sat in silence until they reached Angel's building.
"I guess I should go home." Victor said quietly as he got out of the car but Angel grabbed his wrist.
"No. You're staying here where I can keep an eye on you." he said coldly and briskly led Victor up to his apartment, only letting go of Victor when the door slammed shut behind them. "Go to bed."
Victor stared at Angel's lifeless face for a moment, then moved towards Angel's bedroom only to be caught by his wrist again.
"You're sleeping in the other bedroom." Angel said stonily. "Until those marks are gone."
Not knowing what else to do, Victor let his eyes fall to the floor at the pang of guilt and obediently went into the other bedroom. He was unable to sleep that night. All he could do was to stare at the nondescript, white ceiling, cursing himself for being such an idiot. Why hadn't he just fought off Tristan that first time? Why had he gone to him for sex afterwards? Why had he had sex with Judas, when he wasn't even sure of his sexuality back then? Why had he allowed himself to hurt Angel so? Now, everything would be different. Angel would never look at him with that adoration. That happiness. He would be dumped soon. As soon as Angel let it all sink in, he would dump him. The thought that it might as well be for the best didn't even cross Victor's mind. The fact that his boyfriend had physically hurt him didn't even exist to him. In his mind, Angel was the victim.
When Victor finally fell asleep, the sun was already up, and he woke up again only a few hours later, but stayed in bed, still too heavy-hearted to get up. An hour or so later, the fact that it still was a school day came to mind, and he made a half-hearted attempt to get up and put on some clothes.
The apartment was dead silent and a quick search affirmed that Angel wasn't there. Obviously, he'd gone to work. A quick glance at the clock told him it was well past ten am and he'd missed two classes already, if he was lucky and caught a bus right away, he'd make it in time for fourth period.Yawning, Victor headed for the door and placed his hand on the handle and bang. He'd walked right into it. The door hadn't opened like he'd assumed and Victor blushed at his own stupidity, reaching for the lock only to find that no matter how he turned it the door wouldn't open.
Victor frowned and backed away, looking at the door suspiciously. Apart from the normal lock, there was a lock a little further up, one of those that you need a key for on both sides. The spare key Angel had given him didn't fit. This meant Angel had locked him in. Locked him in. Seriously. Victor stared at the offending lock, mouth half open, for a long time, not really able to understand that it was true. Why had Angel gone to such an extreme? Why had he felt the need to frucking cage him?
Victor snapped his mouth shut and quickly walked into the spare bedroom where his bag lay and rummaged through it quickly, finding his cell phone only to find that the battery was near-dead. Angel didn't know he had a cellphone. For some reason, he'd never gotten around to giving his boyfriend the number. If he'd known, Victor supposed Angel would've taken it away from him. Hurriedly, Victor shut the phone off to save battery and hid it under the matress before he curled up on the bed and stared into the wall, shocked. He wanted to panic. He wanted to scream and cry and yell at someone, but instead he trapped all emotions inside and just mauled over the thoughts in his head, going in circles, tying a knot on his own mind, until he fell asleep again.
Victor stirred and blinked confusedly, looking up at Angel who was sitting on the side of the bed, stroking the black hair out of the younger boy's face.
"How's your head?" Angel asked softly.
"It's fine." Victor managed after a long moment of hesitation. "You locked me in."
There was no change in Angel's soft expression, but he retrieved his hand and placed it neatly on his lap. "You would've left if I hadn't. Right?"
Victor didn't answer. Something was seriously wrong with Angel.
"I'll make you dinner." Angel announced and got up, walking out of the room.
What was with the sudden change in attitude? Where had all the anger gone? Still, as Victor tip-toed into the kitchen to look at Angel's blank, emotionless face, he was even more frightened of this side of Angel than the fury he'd showed the night before.
"My father might be worried." Victor said quietly and Angel glanced at him.
"No. I took a detour over to your house to pick up your things. I spoke to your father." he said off-handedly, stirring the content of a sauce pan.
"What- what did you say?"
"I told him the truth. I said I'm your boyfriend and that you're going to live with me from now on."
Victor gaped and stared at the older man with intense shock and disbelief. "How could you? You knew how I felt about my father knowing! How could you tell him?!"
"You betrayed me, Victor." Angel said calmly and the boy snapped his mouth shut, feeling his cheeks heat up. "It's only fair."
The silence that followed seemed unearthly and endless. Angel had turned around again, slowly starting to slice a tomato and Victor stared at his back hopelessly.
"You don't love me anymore, do you?" Victor whispered hoarsly.
"What are you saying?!" Angel exclaimed in a sudden outburst of rage, and the tomatoes and the knife was sent flying into the wall before he pushed himself away from the counter, grabbing a hold of Victor's shoulders. "How dare you say that? I love you, Victor. I love you too fucking much!"
"You have a fucking weird way of showing it!" Victor shouted back, trying to get out of Angel's firm grip but failing. "Just forgive me instead! Just give me another chance!"
Angel turned oddly calm and still at that, and his eyes seemed suddenly sad. "I love you, Victor, but I don't trust you."
His hand slid over Victor's bruised face.
"Nor do I understand why you did it. Why you cheated on me. And with someone who hurt you like that, who left actual wounds? I would have given you anything you wanted. Why, Victor?"
"I can't say no, okay?" Victor managed, his voice half-choked and his gaze resting on the floor. The tears ran freely now. "I can't. But I didn't want to betray you."
"Who was he? Was it Judas?" Angel asked quietly, almost sounding concerned, but deep down, Victor knew he was just changing tactics to get a hold of the name. Angel's jealousy was a shrewd monster.
"No, It wasn't Judas. I can't tell you. I can't tell you his name."
"Why are you protecting him?" Angel demanded. His voice was becoming firmer again, the anger beginning to leak through.
"I'm not! He's no-one, Angel! He's no-one to me!"
Victor was silenced by a slap across his face and he flinched, touching his cheek disbelieving.
"I told you not to say my name with your filthy mouth!" Angel hissed angrily. "Sit down and shut the fuck up!"
Victor didn't dare to hesitate and obediently walked over to the dinner table, sitting down and folding his hands his lap. His eyes were tearing up and his blinked furiously. Through his misty eyes he watched as Angel prepaired their meal in complete silence. The same silence lay heavy on them throughout dinner and it was all Victor could do not to burst into tears. Hardly any food managed to slip past his lips and when Angel's patience with him faultered, the blonde took his plate away and sent him off to bed, like a disobedient child.
A/N: Uhm... This is getting a bit angsty and abusive. I shouldn't let myself be carried away like that. It'll get worse, I think, and weirder too. But where the hell is Judas? He's been gone for a while now. I have to go find him.
Anyway, feel free to read my other stories and/or visit my profile. I love you, readers and reviewers, especially the reviewers, but you're all awesome. I seriously wish I had time to reply to comments, but school is killing me. Less than six more months 'til graduation though. God, I can't wait.