i haven't felt in days. my words are all lies. i'm trying to write what i think i should feel even though nothing is hitting home. nothing is what is real. i'm scrawling words on paper again but they mean nothing. i have no concept of who i am or where i'm going. i have a few dates to look forward to but what comes after them scares me. the unknown. i have nothing and no one and i'm so scared. my lips are shaking as if i'm about to speak but the words are locked down so deep inside me that they can't be rendered free.