Release from the Soul


It is in a single, swooping moment when the words just pour out from the soul and into the mouth.
When finally, words that would not come out finally voices itself.
The bitter regrets, the lifeless days, the negative aspects - all sculpted into this sheer truth that defines me.
I have been selfless in action, speaking words without feelings, and standing ever-so crooked.
From time to time and dust to dust.
Feelings would accumulate, and regrets would wage war with the present.
Telling me that my lie of a life has no value.
No sentimental feelings and cherished memories can ever make it so.

Yet, if a meaningless life is all I am destined to live.
Why do I go on hoping there is something and somewhere for a tragedy like me?
Why is it that there is always a longing for longing when I already know it is unquestionably unobtainable?
Leaves fall off the branch, and photographs collect dust but I still remain the same.
I still blame myself for all the things that could have been done and said - to people that have come and gone.
Still regretting over the same problems, still missing the same people and still missing the same timeless days.

I want to clench fists, grit teeth and muster the courage to say goodbye.
I want to tell myself that it is okay to regret, and to shed tears -
To say it is okay to be a flaw because imperfections carve a person.
But how does a person continue to move onwards while storing what was once real and discarding what has once happened?
If salvation from this misery means to neglect the moments once occured in time -
Then I'd rather live regretting the past and suffer this human contradiction called life.