age and the grail.

i am afraid of becoming old.
thiry years of age and the world is over --
i have ten years to go; armegeddon will come
and then what will i do?
so many things to achieve and so little time to leave for error;
perfection is a fickle coin that hides around the bend
(it glitters and beckons we hurry up;
but the bend does not have an end)
and where does trying get you when you can
never get it right? don't forget there's no room for mistakes;
the NO VACANCY sign is permanently errect;
you will never succeed, no matter what it takes.

yet they say we can achieve if we percieve.
but perception is clear in my eyes
and it's the world that is shaking so hard it blurs.
how can we walk our own path when we cannot see our feet
nor the posts that lead us to freedom? --
how much does change as we age, and what we thought we knew
is naught but an echo of knowledge.
there is so much more to learn but not enough time to be taught;
so what do we choose to take? what facts will bring us home?
where does glory lay, in what direction does it stand?

we all want to be victorious in our quest;
we want to hold the grail in our arms and let it be buried upon our chests;
our tombstone will say we found it, but beneath the glorific script, it will read:

i lived and learned
and found what others failed to find.
yet the path that i was to walk
was not the one upon which i died.