A Romantic's Philosophy

If you insist on remaining alive, at least do so romantically. Have many relationships, and have them be passionate and physical. Give your heart away as often as you can; torrid affairs are romantic. Drink often and in large amounts. It's best to drink with others. Drinking red wine by yourself is fine, though, because Bukowski did it. White wine is not romantic; neither is rosé. Whiskey is romantic. Vodka is not. Since cooking is romantic, you must prepare large meals, but since eating is not romantic, you must then decide you are no longer hungry and throw them in the trash. (Composting is not romantic.) However, the best way to dispose of unwanted food is to let it burn to a crisp on the stove while you are in bed with your lover. Be thin and, preferably, pale. When by yourself, you must lie in bed all day reading. The appropriate books include Shakespeare and Ovid. John Grisham is not romantic. However, lying in bed reading John Grisham is still better than reading your textbooks. You must never go to class; school is not romantic. However, if you do go to class, you must write poetry in a notebook and not speak to anyone. Mental health is not romantic. Have mood swings. Scream and throw things. Crying frequently is romantic, but so is never crying except for the occasional and complete breakdown, so you may decide for yourself which option you prefer. Where drama does not exist, you may create it. Wear skirts. Wear open-toed shoes. Never trouble yourself about money. Either your lovers will pay the bills, or the bills will not be paid. Debt is romantic. If the above does not suit you, you do always have the option to live sensibly. However, you should be aware that this will not be any fun at all.

a/n: This is one of those things that is partly ironic and partly not, which may make it hard to interpret.. just take from it what you will, and enjoy! And then review. :)