beyond what i could ever fanthomed...

this is what's happening in my life.

confusion

my dream boy and i have gotten together

i've been happy with him...

my best guy friend isolates me

seems to be pushing me out,

out of his circle of life.

my best girl friends look at me

with dull eyes.

this is my world.

chaos

i feel like i'm stuck

in the eye of a hurricane.

mind spinning 'round and 'round,

hair flying everywhere

body numb with all the emotions

and feelings i'm feeling.

my neck sore from searching,

searching for the truth.

...lost...

i was so sure i'd found myself,

my own identity

yet now i'm unsure,

i've lost my self-confidence.

fear of opening my eyes,

monophobia covers me.

everything seems to hit me in the face,

all at once and one by one

with no pause or commercial break,

sapping my strength-

breathing feels like a labor

an unwanted thing;

maybe i ought to toss it away

and completely give up.

this is the world i'm in.