heart locker combinations

a few times I let the combination
to my heart's lock slip out
every time I opened my heart up again,
it was trashed slowly…

as soon as my heart was used for its term,
it was left covered in graffiti
chipped paint, cuss words and garbage
sharpies permanently left marks there…
they will never be erased.

every time I found my heart trashed
paint would make a new coat,
would disguise the surface below,
but time would reveal the bare locker…

my heart's locker held guys' secrets,
held their stories, held their hopes
returned unappreciated, used, broken
((the combination has been locked away))

won't breathe if another sees it,
never again will I write it…
the paint was just put on those walls,
and I still remember what was done.

water can't wash away the dirt,
scratches, rusted metal, or sharpies
but it can wash away the ink that I am writing with

the combination is smearing…
my heart's locker's inside is a secret
a g a i n