"take a step further back to where you belong
take a look at your life what have you become
i never had the chance to explain myself
i never had the chance to apologize
"
-blessthefall "higinia"

(just look at her-)

her eyes are hallow, empty, withdrawn
(her brother calls her the Soulless behind her back)

her mouth tightly drawn when no one's around,
and pulled into a charming smile when addressed
(she tells them she is fine;
but she secretly wants someone, anyone to call her out on all her lies)

she ignores the whispers that follow her every step
("i hear that she hasn't cried once since they've found him")

she holds herself tall and proud
(she would never let anyone tear her down,
never let anyone see her now broken self)

no one sees the drugs behind her unsightly euphoria
pot, heroin, coke, and even morphine(-stolen from her doctor daddy)
"whatiswrongwithme?"

no one sees her cry red tears at night
(they seep out from her body-
out through her veins, through her skin and pores)

her body is drained of life
(she wants to join him so badly
but refuses to give him the satisfaction of knowing
she can't live without him)

her pale, feverish skin a dead give away
to the h y p o c r i s y that runs deep through her veins
(she never fully understood the concept, until now)

i look away from the mirror,
and bend down to splash some crystal clear water on my face
(i'm washing it away, i'm washing it all away)
the blood stained water slowly twirls down the rusty drain
i glance at the mirror
and watch as my face resets itself into the same expression i always wear these days
("i'm like a robot" i told the once alive boy-
he told me that i was the most beautiful robot he had ever seen-
the last thing he said to me before pulling the trigger an hour later)

i open the bathroom door, making sure my smile gives nothing away
(there's nothing left inside anyways)
and walk back out to the party with twinkling lights and booming music
(only to be swept away… againandagain)


a/n
lyrics aren't mine

(poem about an imaginary girl living in my mind)