mondays and maybes

i'm waiting for a tomorrow that doesn't exist,
poking through shreds of old memories
to find the truth of today and tonight and always.

at midnight, the worries of the afternoon disappear
for hours and hours and i wonder
when you'll realize what we do for each other.

we stay up all night and talk about yesterdays
and sometimes tomorrows
and always what she means to you

but i never know what i am to you
and sometimes it seems i know everything under the sun
but that which i want to find the most.

because what we don't talk about are the unspoken things—
like what is between us
and where you have been waiting all my life.

for we are two pieces of a puzzle that have taken such a long time
to find and fit and complete one another
to form this perfect whole of friendship and love and memory—

so if you believe me when i say it, i'll say i never knew
there was such a feeling in the world as this and do you really
not know what i'm talking about?

one would think it was obvious
and laughable, and silly,
but i really do say i'm in love with you, too.

and where are you in all of this?
hiding and hoping that what you and i both see about her
and about us isn't true?

it's not going to work, you know,
because it's love and it's fate and sooner or later you'll realize that
it is impossible that you and i should not have been meant for each other.

what i don't understand is what fate and destiny and time
are all waiting for, because this torment isn't really necessary
and quite honestly, i'm getting tired of it.

and so i'm hoping that you'll make it through today to reach this
so we can figure out what all our yesterdays were about
and what all our mondays and maybes and tomorrows will be.

-

11.07.05.