'Rule Number One: Cut out all processed foods from your diet.
These foods are linked with what we call, "Negative Energy." They are full of empty, worthless calories, and should be avoided at all costs.
These foods include: processed meats, cheeses, and sweet foods such as doughnuts and muffins.'
"Right, then." I look up from the book, feeling triumphant, and bounce up and down a couple of times on my bed to express my happiness. I am on my way to being the new Claudia Shiffer! Actually – she's pretty old now. Maybe Tyra Banks? Heidi Klum?
Whatever. I'm going to be thin, and that's the point.
"Morning!" I say brightly, skipping into the kitchen.
Amanda looks up from the kitchen table. "Aren't you dressed yet?" she asks incredulously. "We're going to be late!"
I look down at my pyjama shorts and top and smile. "No, we're not," I say airily, sliding into the seat next to her. "We have heaps of time."
Amanda raises an eyebrow. "Our lecture starts at eight thirty. It's seven forty five."
I ignore her and instead sniff the air interestedly. "What's cooking? It smells good!"
Tom pokes his head around the kitchen alcove. "Breakfast! Hold on, I'll make you a plate."
"Thanks," I grin, pouring myself some orange juice. It's nice living with two people who can cook. Because I couldn't if my life depended on it.
Tom rounds the corner of the alcove, balancing two plates. "Breakfast," he says, "is served!"
He puts a plate in front of me with a flourish. I grin and look down at it. Then I shriek and push myself as far away from the table as I can get.
"What! What is it?" Amanda asks, jumping up and staring at my plate.
Tom throws his own plate on the table and then jumps up onto the kitchen bench top, pulling his legs up to his chin. "Is it a mouse? Get it away!" he squeals, waving his arms around hysterically.
Amanda stares at the plate for a couple of seconds, and then lifts her eyes to me. "It's… bacon," she says slowly.
I nod feverishly, still eyeing my plate with fear.
"Bacon?" Tom slowly puts his feet back on the floor. "Not a mouse?"
Amanda rolls her eyes. "No, not a mouse."
Tom jumps down and glares at me. "All that fuss because of bloody bacon?"
"It's got negative energy!" I say defensively.
"What?" Amanda's staring at me like I've grown two heads.
"Yes!" I say, getting up from my chair. "My book says so!"
"What book?" Tom asks, sitting down slowly in his own chair.
I pull out Doctor Bobby's book and Amanda groans.
"Not that stupid book again! I don't believe you think it's going to work!"
"Shh!" I cover the book with my hands. "It'll hear you!"
"You've got issues," Tom mutters, devouring a piece of his own bacon.
I glare at him. "You're one to talk – at least I didn't squeal like a little girl because I thought there was a mouse on my plate!"
Tom's cheeks flame. "I did not squeal like a little girl!"
"Like a little sissy girl," I say in satisfaction, tucking my chair back under the table.
"I expressed my concerns in a masculine way!"
I snort. "Yeah, right."
Tom glares at me. Then his gaze flickers to my plate. "You gonna eat that?"
I look at my plate. There's two pieces of bacon, two eggs and a piece of toast there. "What, with all the negative vibes coming from that plate? I'm probably putting on five kilos just breathing its aura!"
Tom reaches over and snarfs my bacon. "I slave and I slave…" he mutters. I roll my eyes at him as Amanda reappears and glares at me.
"Lecture starts in twenty minutes! Move your arse!"
"Okay, okay!" I move towards my bedroom but suddenly look back, grinning mischievously.
"Like a sissy girl!"
"Shut up!"
-----
"And as we can see, due process occurs in this case when…"I blink and try to concentrate as the professor drones on at the front of the lecture theatre. This lecture is so boring I can actually feel my eyes crossing and my body going numb. Lecture Limbo…
I glance to my right only to find Amanda's fallen asleep, her elbows resting on the table, supporting her head. Her mouth's wide open and as I stare at her, she lets out a loud snore. Several people turn to her and I snigger. On the other side of her, I can see my other two friends, Kate and Lisa, staring at the professor, eyes glazed and mouths open slightly.
Amanda lets out another snore, which causes the professor at the front of the lecture hall to stop and glare at her. I nudge her with my elbow.
She doesn't respond and snores louder.
I nudge her violently, causing her elbow to slip off the desk. She hits her head on the table with a smack and starts awake.
"I object!" she says loudly. I burst into giggles as she stares around blearily and people begin to laugh.
"I'm glad you object, Ms. Smith," says the professor dryly. "Now – can I get back to my lecture?"
Amanda nods sheepishly and the professor clears his throat and continues.
Fifteen minutes later there's a stampede for the door as the lecture ends. I meet Amanda, Lisa and Kate outside, still grinning. "Nice nap, Manda?"
"Shut up," she grumbles. "Why didn't you guys try and wake me?"
"I tried!" I say. "But you were snoring so loud you couldn't hear me!"
"I don't snore!" Amanda says indignantly.
Kate giggles, swinging her long brown hair behind her, and bending down to adjust a sandal strap on a coca-coloured leg. "Oh, please. You snore like a Landrover."
We all begin to laugh as Amanda looks at her watch. "I'm starving! Come on, let's go have some lunch!"
She marches off and I roll my eyes and hurry after her. We finally reach the Unibar, the most popular hangout on campus, and the smell of hot chips wafts out the doors towards me. I stop and give the building a look.
"Oh, no," Amanda says, grabbing my arm. "I see that look. This building has no vibes, okay? No vibes!"
"Vibes?" Lisa looks confused. Amanda rolls her eyes.
"Holly is on some stupid diet. Apparently food now has, 'vibes.'"
"Ooh, I heard about that diet!" Lisa squeals, her red bob bouncing vigorously. "My sister went on it and she lost ten kilos!"
I give Amanda a triumphant look. "See?"
"Whatever. I'm hungry, you're hungry, and you're coming with me."
My stomach rumbles. With a sigh, I allow myself to be led into the bar. I squint my eyes as we cross the threshold, trying to find an empty table. It's rush hour on campus, and everyone else is also trying to grab a table, so we've basically got no chance. I'm just turning to Amanda to tell her this when I hear a familiar voice.
"Manda! Holly! Over here!"
I turn to find Tom waving at us enthusiastically from a table near the corner. Amanda squints.
"Who is it?"
"It's Tom and his friends," I report, smiling. Tom's friends are hot. "Come on!"
I lead us towards Tom's table. "Hey," I greet, sitting down in an empty seat next to him.
"Hey," he says, smiling. "Lunch time?"
I nod. "Thank god. Someone couldn't keep their eyes open."
Amanda glares at me. "It was a boring lecture!"
"Whatever." I grin at her and the fish around in my shoulder bag for my purse. "I'm getting something to eat."
I suddenly feel a slight rustling and then Tom whispers something in my ear.
"My friend thinks you're hot."
I sit up so quickly that Tom and I bump heads: I see stars and fall off my chair while Tom yelps and clutches his head. Amanda, good friend that she is, starts laughing hysterically and makes no move to try and help me up.
I'm still blinking on the floor when I suddenly see a large hand in my line of vision and hear a smooth, deep voice:
"Are you okay?"
I look upwards and into the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen. One of Tom's friends stands in front of me, holding out his hand to help me up. He's got sandy blonde hair, sea-green eyes and the build of a surfer. I gape up at him. He frowns slightly and glances at Tom.
"Maybe she hit her head harder than we thought. Are you okay?" he repeats louder. I blink.
"Uhh…" I slowly take his hand and he smiles, pulling me to my feet.
"How's your head?" he enquires sympathetically. "That looks like it hurt!"
I nod and rub my head.
"Hurt her?" Tom says incredulously. "What about me?"
We all ignore him and I smile at my companion. "I'm Holly. I don't think we've met."
"I'm Angus," Hunk-O-Rama smiles, showing me straight, white teeth. "I do Engineering with Tom." He motions over his shoulder. "Hungry?"
"Starving!" I say cheerfully, bending down to pick up my purse.
"Is anyone going to ask me how my head feels?" Tom demands, looking put out.
"No," I say sweetly, turning my back on him and making my way to the bar with Angus.
I swear he gives me a rude hand gesture, but when I turn back to check he's just smiling at me sweetly.
Whatever. I have a hot guy interested in me and what do you have – a bump on the head!
We approach the bar and the bartender looks up at us. He's got that surly look in his eye like he's served one too many a uni student and is now ready to chop the next whiny student in half with a meat cleaver. I eye him warily. "What'll it be?" he grunts.
"Hmm…" I look at the menu. "I'll have…a chicken wrap."
The bartender nods, but I suddenly gasp.
"Wait!"
The bartender turns back to be questioningly.
"Does it have cheese in it?"
The bartender nods.
"Oh." Cheese equals negative energy. Can't have that.
"Umm…I've changed my mind," I say brightly, grinning at Angus. He smiles back encouragingly. "I'll have…" I squint at the menu. "A chicken salad."
"It has cheese too," the bartender says dully. I sigh.
Angus looks behind him where a line's formed. A big one.
"Maybe just order?" he suggests gently as people start to mutter darkly.
I smile at him. Then I turn to the bartender. "Do you have anything that doesn't have negative energy in it?"
The bartender looks startled. "What?"
"You know!" I wave my hands around vaguely. "Negative energy?"
The line is now starting to shift and Angus looks behind him again warily. Hungry students on this campus have been known to take bites out of other people's arms.
"Hurry up!" someone suddenly yells from the back of the line.
"Can you please just order?" Angus hisses at me, his face beet red.
"Fine," I sigh. "I'll have a water."
"A water?" the bartender repeats irritatedly. "All that crap about negative energy and cheese…and now you just want a water?"
"Yes, please," I say in a dignified voice.
Angus is staring at me. "Water?" he repeats faintly.
The bartender practically shoves a glass of water at me. "There," he snaps.
"Thank you," I say in a dignified voice. He just grunts and I make my way back to the table, Angus following along after me. I turn to him in surprise.
"Aren't you going to order anything?"
Angus gapes at me. "Umm…no."
I shrug and sit down. I see Tom give Angus an inquisitive look as he sits down. Angus just shakes his head morosely.
Do you think I made a good impression?
-----
"A good impression?" Tom repeats, staring at me.
I nod, having hurtled in the apartment after my last class at uni to find out all the goss. "Yeah. Does he wanna go out with me?"
Tom sniggers. "I believe his exact words were, 'Your roommate is a freak'."
"He didn't say that!"
"Oh, he did," Tom assures me, trying to see around my body towards the TV screen, where another AFL match is taking place. I take a wide stance and throw my arms out in front of me, effectively blocking the TV from view.
Great. Now my arse covers the TV. That makes me feel good.
Tom groans. "Get out of it! I'm trying to watch the TV!"
"Did he really say that?" I ask, putting my hands on my hips.
"You looked at the menu for half an hour and then ordered a water, for God's sake!"
"The food had negative vibes!"
"Enough with the vibes!" Tom says, throwing up his hands. There's a whistling sound from behind me and Tom groans in frustration. "Great! Now it's half time and I don't even know the score!"
"You'll live," I retort, turning away from him, my shoulders slumping slightly.
So – now I'm a freak.
"Hol." Tom's voice has softened slightly and I turn back to him slowly. He looks at me sympathetically.
"Do you really want to lose weight?"
"Yes."
Tom sighs. "You look fine the way you are."
"I don't want to look fine."
"You look beautiful," Tom says quietly.
I feel myself blush slightly. "Yeah, right."
Tom sighs again. "Look. If you really want to lose this so-called, 'weight' – you can come exercising with me tomorrow, okay?"
"Really?" I ask, surprised. Tom's morning exercise is like a ritual to him. He does it every morning – rain, hail, shine or hangover. It doesn't matter. And he always does it alone. Always.
"Really," he repeats, smiling.
"Oh, thank you!" I leap over to him and hug him tightly. He coughs in an embarrassed sort of way and grunts.
"Okay, okay! The game's back on! Get out of the way!"
I let go of him and smile, moving out of the lounge room. I head into the kitchen where Amanda is cutting up vegetables with her boyfriend, Andrew. Andrew looks over and smiles when I come in, his vivid green eyes bouncing with mirth.
"You'd better not come in here," he teases, "the carrots might have some weird voodoo in them."
"Oh, go stomp on some innocent villagers, why don't you?" I shoot at him playfully, nudging him in the ribs.
"Play nice, children," Amanda says distractedly, still cutting vegetables.
Andrew leans over and kisses her on the cheek. "Yes, mum."
"Please don't call me that. It's weird."
I roll my eyes at the two of them. They've been together for two years, and are complete opposites. Amanda's 5"2', fifty kilos, with a tiny build and straight, blonde hair and blue eyes, and is studying law. Andrew's 6"4', ninety kilos, built like a tank with messy black hair and vivid green eyes. He studies teaching. Go figure, right?
"What are you doing?" I ask, leaning over Amanda's shoulder. "What's with all the cut up celery and cheese and stuff?"
Amanda glances over her shoulder. "Did you forget? It's our turn to host the study group."
I groan. "I forgot!"
"Obviously." Amanda turns. "Finished. Here," she offers me the platter, "want some?"
I look down. On the platter is an assortment of cheese, crackers, cut up vegetables and…I gulp…Cabanossi.
My weakness.
I take a step backwards and Amanda sighs.
"You haven't eaten all day. What's one piece going to hurt you?"
I make a face. She has a point. And I'm starving…
"Oh, all right!" I grab a cracker, a piece of cheese and a piece of cabanossi. "What harm could one do me?"
Yeah – what harm could one do? And besides, I'm going to exercise with Tom tomorrow.
I'm only going to have one. I pop it into my mouth.
I'd forgotten how good cabanossi tasted…
Uh-oh…
-----
Authors Notes: Yep, that's it for chapter two! What WILL the next rule be? Will Holly be able to stop at just one piece of cabanossi? Tune in for the next instalment!